The Terminator: Santa Claus is Coming to Town #1

A fun thing I like to do is come up with comic book Christmas specials that I don't think would ever be published. It's something that I have done since high school; except for a few years when I wasn't collecting, I sorta let the tradition slide. Well, the book that I read yesterday is one that I don't think I would have come up with in a thousand years if I really took the time to think about it.

Dynamite Entertainment's The Terminator: Santa Claus is Coming to Town is the licensed property holiday special that I didn't know that I needed. But boy, did I ever!

After a drone detects human activity, Skynet dispatches a Terminator to investigate with lethal force. The android locates a Resistance scout team hiding out in the ruins of a mall. Being that it's December 24th, the robot selects clothing that is supposed to make it easier to blend in with the human populace. It winds up selecting a Santa Claus costume, complete with hat and accompanying beard!

This has got to be one of the most wild, unusual and yet oddly satisfying Christmas specials that I have ever read. And yet, do you really expect me to believe that Skynet is so stupid an AI that it will program its Terminators to dress up as Santa Claus because the date is December 24th? If this issue was set during Easter, are we to expect that the Terminator would dress up as the Easter Bunny? (We NEED a Terminator Easter special with Arnold dressed up as the Easter Bunny!!!)

Don't expect to see Schwarzenegger in this book. The Terminator used here is clearly a T-800 from it's muscular synthetic flesh to the classic metal skeleton underneath. However, this Terminator is black and bald. I am thinking that Dynamite doesn't have the rights to use Arnold's likeness...

Still, it's a pretty intimidating Terminator. The first 3 pages where we witness the T-800 coming onto the scene and taking assessment of its surroundings was super cool. So were the moments of intense action when the android and the scout team clash. I could so hear that 'Dum dum dum de dum' theme from the original 1984 movie in my head during those moments.

My opinion of Kendall Goode's artwork of the scout team was a little bit mixed. They looked less from the iconic live action film franchise and more set from a 1990s animated series on FOX Kids on weekday afternoons. It's not terrible. And if Goode had made it where those first 3 pages matched the old school animated look of the rest of the book, I would be completely okay with it. Did perhaps somebody else work on the first couple of pages and then have to drop out? Or maybe they had to sub in to make a publishing deadline? Regardless, there is a little bit of visual disjointedness here.

There was another aspect that I almost judged poorly for this one-shot. Good thing that I decided to research a bit before I did. I haven't watched many of the newer Terminator movies. So for me, Judgement Day is always August 29, 1997. That's when Skynet becomes self-aware and takes over the world thanks to a coordinated nuclear strike. However, as we passed 1997 and more Terminator movies come out, that number keeps getting pushed further and further back. Anyways, I know that it seems like stores are setting out Christmas stuff for sale earlier a little bit each year. But in no way was there anything holiday related for sale or decked out at your favorite mall unless they had a Hallmark store selling Christmas ornaments in during the late summer of 1997. I know. I used to work at Suncoast at the Crabtree Valley Mall at that time.

Thus, in this timeline, Judgement Day occurred probably sometime around November or December. It would explain all the Christmas stuff and the Terminator getting the Santa costume from 'Santa Land'. 

I had a lot of fun with this one. I'm actually glad that this was a one-shot. I think making it a miniseries would have tarnished the quirky charm of the oddball holiday special; up there with Santa Claus Conquers the Martians or Lee Majors in The Night the Reindeer Died (IYKYK). A good plot. Excellent action. Good art that just doesn't happen to be consistent throughout. This one is sure to make 2025 a Christmas to remember!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

Ian Fleming’s James Bond: Service Special One-Shot

 Great Britain Has Been Insulted!

   When a high ranking American official goes on record proclaiming England’s lack of usefulness as an ally to the U.S., a terrorist cell makes it their mission to silence this enemy of the Crown. Working on a series of coded communiques, sent to MI6, as his only clues, secret agent James Bond is tasked with infiltrating the nationalist extremists and shutting it down permanently before they can enact revenge. And if 007 can win back the affection of the United States in the process, even better.

   Star Wars: Darth Vader’s Kieron Gillen pens an interesting James Bond adventure in this one-shot from Dynamite. The author does a masterful job capturing the wit of Sean Connery’s 007 throughout the book. He also follows the basic plot of a Bond film pretty well. Gadgets, M, Q, and Moneypenny all make their appointed rounds. It’s just a little odd to encounter a 007 story that’s not filled with femme fatales christened with names that have naughty double meanings.

   The artwork was fair. Artist Antonio Fuso’s (Torchwood) pencils didn’t really wow me. I’m not sure if rendering 007 as normal looking guy, and not in the style of one of the many actors to have portrayed the character in film, was a great idea. I felt more disconnected to this version of James Bond because of his generic every-man look. Thankfully, the writing was good enough to make up for some of this slack. The art deco style of the cover, credits, and establishing pages were stunning. They made me feel like I was looking at the opening credits of a real life Bond flick. Major kudos to the design team on this.

   James Bond: Service Special was an entertaining read that seems almost ripped from today’s headlines. It was a tiny bit confusing at times in the beginning. But I felt that the overall story was very fresh as was the concept of a MI5, acting in concordance with MI6. That was completely new to me. Upon further research, it turns out there’s actually been an MI1 all the way to MI19. Only MI5 and MI6 remain in the present day. But I was able to follow this caper quite well without that prior knowledge of British Intelligence.

    Worth Consuming

    Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

Grumpy Cat & Pokey #1 (Free Comic Book Day 2016 Edition) (Family Comic Friday)

   The unimpressed cat that launched a thousand memes has her own comic book. Just this year, Dynamite Comics issued a comic book series called Grumpy Cat & Pokey based on the internet sensation. But, before Dynamite released the series, the publisher made the brilliant move to issue a Free Comic Book Day preview of the new title and I must say- their marketing campaign worked!
    But before we get to reviewing the comic, let's look at the title: Grumpy Cat & Pokey. Well, just who is Pokey? Is he a made up character just for this series. Actually, no. Pokey is the twin brother (same litter) of Grumpy Cat (AKA Tardar Sauce.) And boy, is he funny!
     Grumpy Cat & Pokey have a vibe similar to another classic cat duo- Garfield and his arch-nemesis, Nermal, the World's Cutest Cat. Both Pokey and Nermal get on the last nerves of perpetual sour pusses Grumpy Cat and Garfield. But while Pokey's optimism is often the bane of Grumpy's existence, Nermal can be quite rude and annoying with his vanity. 
      Grumpy and Pokey have great comedic timing with each other. Whether it's Pokey's attempt at turning the duo into superheroes or his trying to convince Grumpy to becoming a Hollywood star so they both can eat people food- no matter what happens, Grumpy's got a funny one-liner to offer or Pokey's skewed thought process just messes things up with his wild antics. It's all comedy gold here folks.
     Sometimes when you read a book based on a licensed product, the material gets stale. There's no originality. The jokes are older than moldy gym socks and you just can't wait for the book to end. Not so here, as every misadventure was fresh and enjoyable. I even laughed out loud on several occasions! 

The Real Life Pokey (L) & Grumpy Cat.

      The artwork will appeal to all-ages. But there are some big words and a couple of the jokes might seem a little harsh. Plus the cartoon violence rivals Tom & Jerry or the road Runner. But readers aged 7 and up will really love this series. 
      A must for any fan of Grumpy Cat and by the end of this issue, you'll be a fan of Pokey's too!

    Worth Consuming

    Rating: 10 out of 10 stars.
     

Battlestar Galactica, Volume 1: Memorial

  During a Cylon ambush, Commander Adama authorizes an experimental and potentially dangerous, type of weapon to be used in a last ditch effort of survival. The weapon in question is a torpedo that when it hits its target will not only destroy the massive basestar annihilating the fleet, it will wipe the Cylon ship from existence. But when the weapons cause a temporal rift in the fabric of space to open up, Apollo and Starbuck are sent to a parallel universe that's even worse than the reality that they have just come from.

   Memorial is an interesting mix of characters from Battlestar Galactica, spin-off Battlestar 1980, and the new vocabulary from the Syfy Channel reboot. I love stories about alternate realities and this one did not disappoint in the least. I do think it would've been fun to have Apollo and Starbuck pop up into the universe of the reboot Galactica but I guess that wouldn't have been feasible.  It doesn't take away from however dynamite this comic was.

   Speaking of explosive materials, this 2013 series was published by Dynamite Entertainment. Written by collaborators Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning (Legion of Superheroes) and featuring the artistic talent of Cezar Razek (Witchblade/ Red Sonja), this series is what Battlestar Galactica fans have long deserved. The original Battlestar series by Marvel was comprised only of stories taken straight from the show's scripts. It lacked heart and creativity, plus that little spark of imagination that delves into unexplored territories much like licensed properties such as a Ghostbusters or Star Trek comic.

 Another plus is the photorealistic covers painted by my all-time favorite artist, Alex Ross (Kingdom Come). I love his style and I also adore his tongue-in-cheek nostalgic approach. One such example was the cover of issue #3 which is a parody of the original Star Wars poster, as well as a nod to the legal troubles Battlestar got into for being considered a Star Wars rip-off. That may have been the case with the 1979 TV series but that is not with this fantastic comic book.

   The rest of this series is now on my wish list!

   Worth Consuming

   Rating: 10 out of 10 stars.

Batman '66 Meets the Green Hornet

 

The year is 1967 and on ABC superhero history was made with the first live-action team-up of non-affiliated super heroes. In the two-part Batman episode, entitled  "A Piece of the Action" and "Batman's Satisfaction", the Green Hornet and his faithful valet Kato arrived in Gotham City in hopes of taking down the notorious stamp collector Colonel Gumm. Batman and Robin assume Green Hornet is a villain since in Hornet's home town he acts like a mob boss attempting to wipe out the competition. The two pairs forge an uneasy truce to take down the villain played by Roger C. Carmel (Harry Mudd of Star Trek fame.)

    Batman '66 Meets the Green Hornet is a sequel to that classic Batman series match-up. It was published jointly by DC Comics and Dynamite Comics, who currently owns the rights to the Green Hornet comic franchise. Originally a digital first comic, the book is co-written by Kevin Smith, the creative force behind Clerks and Mallrats. While Smith has written some Batman comics before, this is his first venture in the world of Batman '66. However, Smith has written several Green Hornet mini-series so it actually made perfect sense for the actor/director to write this miniseries. 

     So why does the Dynamic Duo team up again with Green Hornet and Kato? The two teams reunite when the notorious Gumm, now promoted to General, steals a train full of rare fossils. The caper turns particularly deadly when the Clown Prince of Crime, the Joker is revealed as Gumm's silent partner. When the dastardly pair rob a collection of stamps, the heroes are forced to become a team or Gotham City will be bankrupted with a $20 million lawsuit for the lost collections.

    This story was awesome. The writing was very good and without a single swear or reference to Star Wars, I cannot believe that Keven Smith wrote it. The regular covers were painted by my favorite artist of all-time, Alex Ross, with one variant by regular '66 cover artist Mike Allred. The art was also superior with amazing renderings of Adam West, Burt Ward, Caesar Romero, Van Willams, and Bruce Lee. The only actor not portrayed in comic form was Roger Carmel as Gumm. I'm wondering if his estate refused to allow his likeness to be used as Gumm's character is portrayed as being covered in an experimental adhesive much like Baron Nemo from the Avengers. If that's the case, I will approve the blatant plot device rip-off of a Marvel villain.

     Worth Consuming

    Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.