I made my return to the theaters this week. My god son really wanted to see Black Widow before it left the big screen. And since we were both vaxxed, I thought it would be okay within reason. Since there was a total of only 3 viewers and we were all distanced, I took the risk.
Gee- I hope I don't get COVID for watching this dreck...
Black Widow takes place just after the events of Captain America: Civil War; a film that came out in 2016. I barely remember everything that happened in last year's Wonder Woman 1984. So, to have to understand things that occurred 5 years ago and hope to truly enjoy this Marvel movie is a stretch. If ever a movie needed some flashbacks, this would be the film!
We do get to see Natasha Romanoff's (Scarlett Johansson) origin as a childhood member of the fallen Soviet Union's Red Room. But we also needed a refresher as to what transpired during that laughable MCU version of a Civil War.
The film pius Black Widow on the run due to siding with the losers of the Civil War. While at the famed safe house in Budapest, Romanoff runs into another Red Room occupant who tells the Avenger that the Black Widow program is still in operation. Now that a method to deprogram the assassins has been found, the Natasha and her 'sister' must reunite with other former operatives from her past. This includes the imprisoned Alexei Shostakov, who was Russia's first super hero, The Red Guardian and exiled pig farmer Melina Vostokoff, the original Black Widow whom Natasha recruits to take down the Red Room and it's leader, the dastardly Dreykov!
Standing in the way of this makeshift 'family' is a computer programmer assassin called Taskmaster. With the ability to adapt to any fighting style, when Romanoff takes on this baddie, it's like fighting herself. Natasha also has to escape from General Thaddeus Ross, who has sworn to bring the fugitive Avengers to justice. Thankfully, Natasha has the services of former SHIELD agent Rick Mason to help provide tech and other supplies.
I liked getting to finally see Rick Mason appear in the MCU. He's a subtle mix of romantic chemistry and comedic relief. But he's also quite underused. But knowing Kevin Feige and how Disney+ has been striking gold with it's streaming services, I wouldn't be surprised to see more of the character, played by O.T. Fagbenie, in some future web series.
So I've just written about this movie for a half hour now and I'm exhausted from it. Great movies are easy to write about as you get to relive the thrills and chills. Black Widow wasn't the worst Marvel Cinematic Universe film ever made. Thor: The Dark World still has that honor in the bag. But, geez- this one was at times hard to watch.
From almost the very beginning, things were bad. The opening credits, to which a very dispassionate version of Smells Like Teen Spirit played while very disturbing images of child abuse and war flash across the screen in microsecond bursts, set me up to say that this wasn't going to be your average Marvel film. In other words: not great. But not terrible either.
Super hero movies seem to be falling into this trap of over-the-top third acts. That's the same here. The first act was slow as it establishes Natasha's back story. The second act was full of humor and an unnecessary avalanche scene. That last act just seemed like a replay of the ending of Winter Solider- which was a replay of the first Avengers film. Seems like for a franchise hailed for it's creativity; things are getting repetitive at Marvel Studios.
Okay. So I finally saw Black Widow. And yes, I went to the theater to do it. At least I got to spend time with my god son. That's what really mattered. At least with a film about family, I got to spend some time with mine.
Rating: 6 out of 10 stars.
