Sharknado 5: Global Swarming

Storm Warning 

 The American phenomenon of a Sharknado goes global in the fifth installment of the SYFY channel film series. Ian Ziering and Tara Reid continue their roles as Finn and April Hudson. Meanwhile, actress Cassandra Scerbo returns as Nova after skipping out on the 4th Sharknado film.

   I for one also wish I could have skipped 2016's Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens. Something was seriously off in that chapter. It was so bad that even David Hasselhoff and Gary Busey couldn’t save it. Thankfully, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming was a return to the schlocky film series designation as a genuine guilty pleasure.

    In the latest chapter, Finn and April and son Gil are called to jolly old Emgland. It’s the Hudson’s mission to advise the United Kingdom on how to defend from the shark-filled storms. At nearby Stonehenge, Nova with her global network of anti-shark 'sisters', has unearthed an ancient artifact.

   It is soon discovered that the artifact was used by the Druids to defeat an early outbreak of sharknadoes. However it’s misuse can also cause such storms to form. As a result,  little Gil is sucked into a portal within the nexus of massive storm about to decimate London.Throughout the rest of the film, Finn and April follow the massive storm cell as it destroys Rio, Sydney, and Tokyo in hopes of saving their son.

So Bad, it's Still Bad..

    Sharknado 5 was horrid fun. The movie is like a train and a plane crashed into each other and all the victims drowned. People shouldn’t enjoy something this awful. Yet, like a car accident on the side of the highway, you just can't look away from it no matter how hard you try.

    I think one of the reasons the Sharknado films have been so popular is that they don’t take themselves seriously. Tons of B and C list stars appear in the fifth installment. Most of the cameos are to the expense and mockery of those celebs. Some of the best appearances were Nichelle Nichols as a UN Ambassador and Geraldo Rivera as a blimp engineer who discovers that his vault is empty! Having 70s Spanish rock-star Charo appear as the Queen of England was not one of those great cameos. 

Deep down, I feel like the cast and crew wanted to go on an exotic vacation. So they tricked SYFY into financing this sequel. The premise of cyclones filled with only sharks is completely ridiculous. But now having the storms be able to transport you anywhere in the world is a bit much. Needless to say, if there’s a sixth film on the horizon for this series, I’m in! I just hope that the producers wrap things up soon before this series jumps the shark!

Rating: 4 out of 10 stars.

Worth Consuming but only for the cheese factor. 

Review originally posted August 7, 2017 on outrightgeekery.com.

Archie Vs. Sharknado #1

Just when you thought it was safe to walk on dry land!!!  Recently, the Archie gang has meet super group KISS, competed with the kids from Glee, fought zombies, and evaded Predators. Now, the Archies tackle the phenomenon known as Sharknado!

   When a massive Sharknado attacks Riverdale, Archie and Dilton and the rest of the gang must use brains and brawn to save their beloved town. Featuring all of your Archie Universe favorites including Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Moose, Josie and the Pussycats, and Mr. Weatherbee. No one is safe and by the end of this issue some fan favorites WILL be reduced to fish food.

Don't let the variant cover fool you- the classic style of Archie, Jughead, and Hot Dog abounds in this one-shot tie-in with the Syfy Channel franchise. That makes for one strange comic. Imagine the Riverdale students you remember, covered in blood, killing man-eating sharks, and being dismembered. (Note picture below.) This isn't the Archie Comics you grew up with and yet in a very morbid way this is the same Archie of your youth who can't decide between Veronica or Betty. And even more oddly, this works!

   

   Even though this is drawn in that all-ages family friend look by long-time Archie Comics artist Dan Parent- this is not a book for everyone. There's no sex or cursing, but younger readers might not be able to handle this level of shark induced carnage. Though I cannot find one for this book, it's got to be considered at least rating of Teen.

    Released just today, this book came out in time for tonight's Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! on Syfy. I think it's extremely clever. So brilliant, that I, a collector notorious for not buying books when new, had to rush out as soon as I was done with work and snag a copy. Sadly, I could only find the variant covers available at my local comics shop.

 (Side Note: regular cover A and variant C, which features the classic version of the Archie Gang was sold out at the comic book store I went to. In fact, I've been told that the classic-style covers are outselling the modern looks about 5-1! Proof that fans can handle more mature stories drawn in that iconic style that has thrived for over 40 years! Take that Mark Waid and Fiona Staples!)

Like a train wreck, you can't look away and there's a wickedly morbid fascination with tornadoes filled with sharks. Living in North Carolina, where there're been about a dozen shark attacks in the past month, I actually don't see this as taboo either. (#guiltypleasure) I can't believe I'm going to say this but in terms of Archie Vs. Sharknado, I'm hooked!

   Worth Consuming

   Rating: 10 out of 10 stars.