The 18 Days of a Star Wars Christmas Miracle +7: Day 18 (SPOILER FREE MOVIE REVIEW)

  For today's advent, I decided to review the Force Awakens while being as spoiler free as possible. 
   
  For one thing, the Force Awakens is wicked fun. But it's not Empire Strikes Back- perhaps not only the greatest Star Wars film ever, but the best film of all-time- period. True, I have seen Episode V over 200 times and I might be a little biased. Multiple viewings of this film, which I am sure will be occurring in the next few weeks, will help me to really place this film at second or third place over A New Hope and Revenge of the Sith. 

   The acting was quite good. It was great seeing Han, Leia, Chewie, and some other friendly faces. But how did the new characters do? 
   Oscar Isaac's Poe Dameron, the best pilot in the Resistance is cocky, fierce, and a little wild. But he's quite likable. The mysterious orphan Rey played by Daisy Ridley is a star in the making. I take that back, her performance as the scavenger from the planet Jakku is proof that a star is born. Another mysterious character is that of Kylo Ren, who plays a Sith Lord for the First Order. Played by Adam Driver- he's a creepy dude who I actually do not like at all (though his voice when helmeted rivals James Earl Jones' Darth Vader.)

   One thing about Episode VII that quite different from the other 6 movies are the villains. Unlike the Empire, the troops of the First Order don't strike me as evil. But they are baddies nonetheless. But whereas I love the bad guys characters of the Empire like the Emperor, Boba Fett, and, of course, Lord Vader, I hate these guys and hope that the resistance hands them their just desserts by the end of Episode IX. 

    Oh, I almost forgot one more character- the controversial Finn played by John Boyega. When he was first cast last year, some folks lost their freakin' minds over a black stormtrooper. The biggest argument was that the clones used as the original Stormtroopers were not black. Well, this is the second or third generation of stormtroopers made up of recruits and conscripts. So, haters: STIFLE!

    Boyega was the comic relief of the Force Awakens. But he wasn't annoyingly stupid like the notroious Jar Jar Binks. In fact, sometimes, his character of a conflicted stormtrooper played the straight man to an elderly Han Solo, who had some very funny moments as well. Still, Boyega's character was play with such heart and such charm that I openly welcome him into the Star Wars family. (On a side note, Boyega's Finn is rumored to be the son of Lando. If that becomes true, I'm totally fine with it because they both have that dapper swagger and a way with the ladies.)

   So, should you see Star Wars? Absolutely! The few trailers and commercials for the film haven't spoiled anything. In fact, expect some misdirects. JJ Abrams did a great job in making you think that Character A was going to turn out to be a Jedi or a villian, or someone's kid only to have it be Character B. (And yes, as I've been predicting a couple of characters from the Journey to the Force Awakens books do appear in this film. But do you have to read those books to understand what's going on? Not really, though Smuggler's Run does offer the most insight into the goings on in which we first are reintroduced to Han and Chewie.)

   Lastly, here's a couple of tips for seeing the movie this weekend.

   1. Get there early for seats but don't expect to see the film immediately at showtime. My tickets last night were for 7:30. It wasn't until 7:55 that the commercials and trailers finally ended.
   2. Cosplay is okay. But thanks to the a-hole in Denver, expect bag checks, head coverings and fake weapons to be banned, and regular appearances of ushers checking the emergency exits.
   3. There was a rumor of a secret scene at the end of Episode VII. If you hate staying through credits, go ahead and leave, there isn't anything waiting for you at the end of the movie except your car.
   4. Check your theatre for problems. I heard that one screening in Cary, NC was cancelled because their copy of the film was damaged. There were lots of upset folks last night.

   So there you have it. I hope you'll go out and see Star Wars this weekend. There are some many showings, you shouldn't have any troubles getting to see the Force Awakens. Was it a perfect movie? No, but even A New Hope had it's flaws. There were 2 moments that upset me and only 1 of which really pissed me off. Episode VII was a journey back to the Star Wars universe and JJ Abrams was the right man to do it. I hate that he's not directing the next 2 films. With lots of easter eggs, tributes, and original trilogy thrills, this is the next chapter of the House of Skywalker that we waited 32 long years for.

   The Force is strong with this one...

    Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

   

Star Wars Advent News...

   Tomorrow's Advent post will be delayed until in the afternoon.  My intention is to write up a review for Episode VII but I want to ruminate on it a bit and make sure that I compose one that is as spoiler free as possible. So sit tight, I didn't forget...

17 The Force Awakens Spoilers For Someone Who Hasn't Seen the Movie Yet...

 

 With the Force Awakens, it's going to be really hard not getting any spoilers unless you see the movie first. I get to see the film tonight at 7:30. Everyone at my work knows I am going and I am going to be asked question after question about what happened.  So, I thought it might be fun to come up with some fake spoilers to throw out tomorrow. Feel free to use them when describing Episode VII to your friends and family...

1. The Force doesn't like to be awakened until 10 am. It will sleep in on weekends.

2. To start it's day, the Force will drink a hot cup o' joe, catch up on emails, and have a morning constitutional...

3. Chewbacca is revealed to really be 2 Ewoks standing atop an Ugnaught.

4. The reason Luke is missing from the trailers is because he accidently went back in time, where he fell in love with a girl named Shmi and ended up becoming his own grandpa.

5. We learn that Han Solo hates snakes. This phobia gives him a bad feeling...

6. Leia has been financing the continuing war against the First Order by selling her worn metal bikinis to Japanese businessmen online. Sales have not been good lately...

7.Nalan Cheel quit Figrin Dan and the Modal Nodes and created the Indy-Pop band Alderaanian Sunburn.

8. No taun tauns were injured in the filming of the Force Awakens.

9. A Jawa did get a hang nail, but it was quickly fixed. He did not have to apply for workmen's comp.

10. Poe Dameron's serial number is revealed as 4815-16-2342.

11. Han and Leia never married. They did have a threesome with a Shistavanen Wolfman- there were complications...

12. Boba Fett survived the Sarlacc. The episode did result in the bounty hunter losing that lovin' feeling if you know what I mean...

13. It's revealed that R2-D2 and C-3PO aren't a gay couple because Threepio is a figment of Artoo's imagination.

14. The secret scene at the end of the film has Han, Leia, Chewie, Finn, Poe, and Rey eating at a really good Shawarma restaurant at the Mos Eisley spaceport.

15. James Earl Jones appears as a new bad guy, Darth Boisterous. All of his lines are dubbed over by David Prowse.

16. A third Death Star appears in this film. It's made of Legos, but all thermal exhaust ports are properly vented to prevent another debacle like on Yavin.

and 17. It's not really a Death Star. It's more like a Death Meteorite...

  Oh, and here's a bonus spoiler- There's going to be a sequel!!!

The 18 Days of a Star Wars Christmas Miracle +7: Day 17

 It's finally here- technically. For the longest time, December 18th was to be the official opening of Episode VII. But with Fandango's secret showings for tonight and Disney deciding the best way to prevent spoilers is to up the date of the film's opening, today is the day the force finally awakens.

   I've been waiting for this movie for 32 years. 1983, there was a story on Entertainment Tonight which both promised the 3 prequels and another trilogy to round out what happened after Return of the Jedi. I know we got the prequels but  what I wanted was to see the further adventures of the rebels I loved watching in episodes IV, V, and VI. Well, starting today, that mission will begin the process of being accomplished.

   With Episode VII, we'll finally get some all new footage of Han, Leia, Chewie, the droids, and most importantly- find out what the heck happened to Luke!

   Since I know you are craving some new Star Wars, my advent present for you today is a trio of videos showing rarely seen deleted footage from the original trilogy! May it whet you appetite.

   Enjoy...

  click here for deleted scenes from A New Hope...

  click here for deleted scenes from the Empire Strikes Back...

  click here for deleted scenes from Return of the Jedi...

What's Missing from the Force Awakens Trailer? A Theory About Episode VII...

  

I must confess, I didn't stay up to watch the Star Wars trailer last night during Monday Night Football. But when I got home today, I immediately went online and viewed it. As much as I enjoyed it, I was struck by a nagging feeling that I couldn't put my finger on- until now... Where is Luke Skywalker?

   This is the third trailer I have seen for Episode VII. Except for his voice, the character played by Mark Hamill doesn't appear in any of them.

    Then I kept coming back to Han Solo saying that everything you here about the Jedi is true. Consider how big a skeptic in the Force Han was in the original trilogy, what would cause him to change his tune? That's when something else finally came to the forefront of my mind about why these trailers bother me- where are all the Jedi?

   You would think 30 years after the fall of the Empire that Luke would have created an impressive collection of Jedi Knights. But the only character that brandishes a lightsaber with any confidence is the Sith character of Kylo Ren. (At this point you might be yelling at my post saying " What about Finn? Don't worry, I'm coming to him.)

    Anyway, the whole thought of lightsabers got me thinking about another new character named Poe Dameron. This guy is an X-wing pilot tasked with retrieving the weapon Luke had lost, along with his arm, in his battle with Darth Vader on Bespin in Episode V. It's been 35 years since that happened, so why would Princess Leia wait until now to make someone other than Luke fetch it unless....
( this next sentence is A) speculation, not a spoiler and B) likely to make you mad. So, you've been warned.)

... Luke Skywalker is dead.

    Think about it, We've not seen Luke in any of the trailers, there's no army of Jedi, just this mysterious Sith character, Han waxes poetic about the Jedi, and when someone finally wields Luke's old lightsaber, it's the controversial character of Finn. So here's my theory:

   Luke tried to train the next generation of Jedi, but like with Obi-Wan, his apprentice became seduced by the Dark Side, became Kylo Ren, and killed Luke. Thus no further Jedi Knights.

   The movie is titled 'The Force Awakens.' If Luke was around, wouldn't it already be up? What if the character of Finn, played by John Boyega isn't a Skywalker but the new New Hope? Thus, the Force Awakens when Leia, who has some Force abilities, sees potential in this reformed stormtrooper. His teacher? Why, the ghost of Luke Skywalker! In a twist to the original trilogy, the ghost has become the master. Since revealing Luke to be a spectre would be a major spoiler- that is why Hamill has yet to appear in any of the trailers  (He's not even on the official movie poster!!! See above right...)

   Addendum: Luke might be alive but in typical Skywalker fashion, he has turned to the Dark Side of the Force. It's possible that we've seen Luke in all three trailers, it's just we've not seen his face. This actually makes a little bit of sense as in the most recent trailer, the Sith Lord, Ren seems to be in possession of the skull of Darth Vader. But how did he get it if Luke had his father's body at the end of Return of the Jedi? That's because Luke betrayed the New Republic, became a Sith lord named Kylo Ren and joined/ started the First Order. (Yes- I know that Ren is played by Adam Driver, but maybe that's only when the character is wearing his mask! Unmasked, Ren is played by Mark Hamill. It's happened before with Vader being played by two different actors in Episode VI!)

    So that's my theory. What do you think? I know it sounds wild. But if you find that my post was blocked by Disney, then I was on to something...