Chilling Adventures Presents: Archie's Weirder Mysteries #1

Just as 1999 was turning into the year 2000, Pax TV was airing an animated series based on the Archie Gang. Called Archie's Weird Mysteries, the cartoon focused on B-grade movie monsters, ghosts, and Dilton's science projects gone wrong. While the series spawned a comic book, Archie's Weird Mysteries was more of a spiritual relative of an early 1990s Archie Comics cult fav of mine, Dilton's Strange Science.

Jump to 2022 and Archie's Weirder Mysteries has returned. Only instead of being an all-ages affair, this one-shot special is set firmly in the mature rated Archie Horror universe of titles. 

There are 3 stories in this special. First up is Betty, Monster Hunter. Though this time after finding a crashed flying saucer, Betty is now an Alien Hunter. That's because one of the occupants of the UFO is missing! Evidence points to the creature being a shape-shifter. So when Betty goes to Pop's Choc'lit Shoppe accusing everyone of being an alien in hiding, nobody bats an eye...

The second story stars Dilton and Ethel as they travel back in time to 1990s era Riverdale. More on that one a little later. The final adventure is set about 50 years in the future. Josie of Pussycats fame, seems to haven't aged a day. This really bugs the heck out of rival Alexandra Cabot and prompts the now middle-aged rich b*tch to seek ways to recapture her lost youth.

The Betty story was great. I've not read any of the series starring this version of her and in the past, hadn't had any desire to do so! Not anymore!

The Ethel and Dilton story was really good. Though I wasn't a fan of how Dilton looks like a muscular jock instead of a wimpish nerd. However, having the duo go back in time to visit the parents of Archie, Betty and Veronica was really intriguing. There was an element of the cult film Empire Records to this story and I'd be all for Archie Comics doing a limited series about the life and loves of the parents when they were the age of their current children. 

The Josie story appeared to be a sequel of sorts to the Ethel and Dilton tale. That's because both stories involve a physician by the name of Dr. Masters; a creep interested in eternal life-stretching medical techniques. I wasn't familiar with this guy. But a quick Google search revealed that he was the start of his own Archie Comics drama series in the 1960s. As short lived as it was, I loved how Archie Comics still tries to keep it's legacy characters, alibeit EVER so minor, around for a good yarn or two.

A fun read. With mature language- I didn't know Betty could say the word 'shit'!?- some blood and gore and possibly a little sex, this is a one-shot Halloween time fun ride that is NOT for kids!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

Dilton's Strange Science #1 (Family Comic Friday)

   For this installment of Family Comic Friday, I went deep into my vaults to find a book from my childhood. It was the Spring of 1989, I was 11 and Archie Comics was experiencing a zenith. The publisher had teamed with folks at NBC to release a New Archies cartoon series that had the gang in more modern dress and singing pop songs in MTV style music videos. 
   All of my classmates in 4th and 5th grade were in love with the show (though I was more partial to the comics, of course) and they would even dress up as the characters and give each other nicknames based on characters. Because I was the tallest in my class, I was Moose, though I really hated that. Moose was dumb. The character I wanted to be was the ever brilliant Dilton. More on that in a minute. 
   To coincide with the New Archie shows release, Archie Comics released a score of new and thrilling titles that showed many of the publisher's characters in a new light. The teachers at Riverdale High got a series called Faculty Funnies. Archie's wealthy girlfriend went global on a modelling assignment in Veronica. And the gang at large were sent a thousand years into the future with Archie3000. But my favorite of the new titles was Dilton's Strange Science.
   Though I hated going to the dentist, he was really a cool guy. Each patient got a new toothbrush and a comic book- of your choice! It made 45 minutes of misery worth it. One day, I got my hands on a copy of Dilton and I had the best drive home from the dentist.
     As a kid, I loved science (and art!) I got really good grades, loved doing experiments, and I also loved crushing the other kids when it came to trivia. So, I always favored Dilton from the Archie Books.
    In Dilton's Strange Science, the Archie gang's resident nerd gets a sleek look, an update lab, and even a girlfriend- the equally brilliant Danni. In this first issue, Dilton is showing Danni his new shrinking ray and a pair of very small aliens are looking to use it to conquer the earth.  (Hey, I know this sounds goofy, but shrinking was all the rage in 1989- why else was Honey, I Shrunk the Kids a blockbuster smash!?)
     By the end of this issue, filled with adventure, puzzles, history, and a science experiment or two to try at home, I was hooked and ready for issue #2. However, Archie Comics made a big blunder by only having their new titles come out only 4 times a year. So it was really hard to garner readership. (Archie Comics did have the smarts to make Veronica a bi-monthly title and sent her back to Riverdale, where she thrived for over 200 issues.) But alas, I never got my hands on another copy of Dilton's Strange Science and I don't think his girlfriend Danni was ever seen again after the series was cancelled in issue #5.
    So, why review a flop? 
    First of all, the series was good- it was poor distribution that led to it's downfall. I decided to review this book to let parents and guardians of aspiring comic book collector's know that the bargain bins of your local comic book shop and comic book shows are overflowing with Archie Comic gems like this. They usually can be found for a dollar or less. 
  'But, Mr. Madman With a Book- doesn't the cheapness of these books signify poor quality?' 
   Not one bit. See in the 80s and early 90s, publishers were putting out thousands upon thousands of copies of a title because speculators thought that every first issue was going to be the next Fantastic Four #1. People would buy dozens of copies of every first issue, like Dilton's Strange Science, thinking that they were sitting on a gold mine. To meet demand, comic book stores would up the price significantly. 
    By 1993, when the comic book bubble burst and people realized that they weren't going to be able to fund their kid's college with 25 issues of Faculty Funnies #1, prices sunk to epic lows. I know of some comic book dealers that are still stuck with dozens of issues of Marvel's football themed NFL Superpro #1. (They can't give the book away.) But if you have a young one whose not old enough to be reading most of the DC and Marvel stuff on the market yet, they can still get into the fun finding lots of kids and all-ages stuff from the past 30 years for very little money. 
    Hey, who knows? Maybe when Ryan Reynolds stars in a live-action version of Dilton's Strange Science, I just might be able to fund my graduate program dreams...

   Worth Consuming

   Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.