The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams

Lots of sequels make the mistake of following the original winning formula too closely. Others make the mistake of not following the blueprints close enough. I tend to think that The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul, the second Dirk Gently novel by Douglas Adams, fits into the second category.

What can only be described as an 'act of God' at the London Heathrow airport results in a giant of a man in a coma, a missing bag check clerk and another woman seriously injured. Meanwhile, Dirk arrives at a paying client's home only to find the residence swarming with police and his client's head spinning atop a turntable. Add in a very angry eagle who swoops down on just about every character in the book, an elderly man in a high priced health clinic who might be Odin, the High Father of Asgard, and a whole bunch of fender benders and you've got one heck of a puzzle. Unfortunately, I think it's a puzzle that has all of the pieces. 

The previous Dirk Gently novel wrapped everything up in a very nice tiny package. It was kinda like one of those huge Hickory Farms gift sets where every inch of space is smarty filled with beef sticks, cheeses, spreads and those tiny little strawberry candies. With book two, several key elements are left unanswered. For example, Dirk's client had a TV addicted child living in the upstairs attic. Sadly, now he's an orphan. It felt like Douglas Adams didn't really know what to do with the lad and that's infuriating because of how everything is supposed to fit together. Dirk's holistic approach to solving a mystery, all clues, participants and events are supposed to tie in to one another. Could it have been that Adams was going to explain everything in a third book?

Basically none of the characters or events of the first book are mentioned in this book except for Dirk and his long-suffering secretary who finally got the nerve to quit the detective agency. When I was reading The Salmon of Doubt, I was very lost because a lot of the characters and fallout from The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul unfolds and appear in that book. 

Some trilogies start off as a single volume. Since it's a new concept, creators make a story that can go one of two ways. First, you have a happy ending that should audiences not make the work a success, it can stand on its own. Secondly, your piece becomes a colossal hit and so you end volume two on a cliffhanger of sorts so that fans have to know what happens in the final act. Perhaps this book felt so unfinished was that the author was going to give fans a thrilling ending that tied both books in the series together in a climatic crescendo. Instead, in reality Douglas Adams got bored with making a third book and instead began focusing on non-fiction articles about  conservation and technology, along with a very poorly received 5th Hitchhikers book. Then when came not time but interest in Adams wrapping up the Dirk Gently trilogy, he passed away too soon for it to be completed. 

Maybe I will get my answers in volume 2 of IDW's adaptation of The Salmon of Doubt. I'm eager to find out if that's the case. Though I might need to re-read volume 1 again. No, I definitely need a re-read.

A good read. But I expected a lot more. Plus it helps if you have an understanding of British debt law of which I have zero knowledge. But it plays into the ending and use of Wikipedia for guidance is a must. At least the explanation behind the Coke machine and the angry bird was executed brilliantly!

Rating: 6 out of 10 stars.

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency was a very odd book. Not because of the quirky, irreverent nature of author Douglas Adams. His obscured view on things is rather refreshing. No, I consider this book to be unusual because of all things you'd expect from a whodunnit/sci-fi/satire novel; and by that, I mean: math.

The edition I read was a 1987 paperback published by Pocket Books. It was 306 pages in length. Of those pages, the main, title character doesn't appear actively until you're over a third of the way done at page 113! He's talking to another character over the phone. It's another 30 pages before he actually appears in person! I've read a lot of mystery novels. Mostly, Sherlock Holmes and detective noir. A little bit of Agatha Christie. In those books, it might be one or two chapters tops before the main protagonist appears as writers like to present the crime in order to set up the plot. I'm okay with this. I've never had to get to chapter 14 to encounter the title character of a story.

Dirk is mentioned in great detail in chapter 6 by at this point by what we assume are the two main characters: Reg and Richard as Adams has devoted about 40 of the first 50 pages of the book to a very odd encounter between them. I really couldn't figure out where things were going. I was even more confused as I had watched by seasons of the BBC America's Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency starring Elijah Wood and Samuek Barnett as Dirk. None of this book unfolds like either season. Even Dirk from the book is nothing at all like Dirk from the show, other than he's rather annoying. Though I think Barnett's portrayal makes Dirk to be a more likable character. Dirk Gently on paper is like the most irredeemable character in the history of literature. You think Ebeneezer Scrooge was a monster. But he at least becomes a likable character by the end of A Christmas Carol. By the end of this book, you're convinced that fans would have hated it the main protagonist to the point that there would never be a sequel; much less a radio series and 2 TV show adaptations.

And yet considering how despicable Dirk Gently is, you kept wanting to read more!

The plot for the book is rather complicated. To reveal too much would spoil the wondrous magic of the book. This is a nearly 40 year old book. But if all you've ever read of Douglas Adams was his 5-volume Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, to give away too much would be like exposing Houdini's secrets! So how best to give a synopsis...

Here goes:

Dirk Gently is a detective. He's not a very good one. He's more of a con man; trying to get clients to fund his holiday excursions as important mind-clearing methods for solving his cases which mostly involve finding lost cats. Dirk is slightly psychic, though he would deny this to the grave. But his holistic way of looking at the universe seems to work out in the end. Here Dirk helps an old college friend escape a murder rap when the guy's boss is mysteriously killed by an unknown intruder hiding in the deceased's automobile. 

I really don't think I can say more about the plot. But I did have to re-read several sections more than once. And I had to use Google and ChatGPT AND Reddit to finally understand all of the nuances of this book.

After reading the Salmon of Doubt, I ran out and immediately bought copies of both of Adams' Dirk Gently novels. It wasn't a bad decision on my part. It's just not an easy book to read. There's a good mystery and I was able to figure out some of the clues. But if ever there was a book that needed CliffsNotes, this was it. Don't go into this expecting it to be like the BBC America series as you will be 100% disappointed. But if you approach Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency like another masterpiece by the late great Douglas Adams, you will be in for a humongous treat!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

Douglas Adams' The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time (A Madman Re-Read)

It's hard to believe that when Douglas Adams died in 2001, he had only published 11 books. That number just seems in error. Adams had released 5 volumes in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy trilogy. Yes, I did mean trilogy.  He also released a compendium of the radio scripts for Hitchhikers. Adams also gave us 2 Dirk Gently books. The remaining 3 books were co-written by Adams about made up words, similar to Sniglets and a treatise on endangered animals. The last book, Last Chance to See was considered by the author his greatest work. Though how anything can top The Restaurant at the End of the Universe is beyond me 

Just because Douglas Adams only finished 11 books before his death at age 49, that doesn't mean he wasn't a prolific writer. He contributed a number of articles on subjects varying from computers to religious beliefs and almost everything in between; most of which were published in magazines and newspapers in the UK. The Salmon of Doubt seeks to give his fans one last conversation with the extremely witty and hilarious author while also offering what the third Dirk Gently or the sixth Hitchhikers book might have been had he survived. 

After Adams's death, a family friend was able to access the late author's computer and download a large number of his archived writings. His editor and his widow then sifted through the works, culling from not necessarily the best of the best, but a selection of works that most described the type of complicated man Douglas Adams was. 

A staunch conservationist, Adams's time dressed as a rhinoceros during a climb up Mount Kilimanjaro is documented. The author was also an unabashed techie who loved computers almost as compulsively as I love comic books. A couple of articles read like lost chapters of Orwell's 1984, giving insight into how technology will change our lives; especially in terms of how we will shop online. I also think he should be credited with being a visionary on the formation of the Google Cloud Platform, having lamented in the mid-90s how nearly impossible it was for him to write something on a computer to be reviewed by his editor on another model without just having to take his computer with him in person to his publisher.

Don't think Douglas Adams wasn't able to combine his two great passions. In 1992, he managed to convince a tech magazine to fund a trip to the Great Barrier Reef in order to determine which offered a smoother ride: a new underwater one-man submersible or a giant sting ray. Needless to say, the diving experts wouldn't let the author actually touch a ray, let alone ride one. But he did manage to see a nearly 8 foot wide specimen in action and came to the conclusion that it was perfectly designed.

If conservation and technology were Douglas Adams' passions, Atheism was his guilty pleasure/soap box. And yet throughout this entire book, there's a sort of contradiction in his lack of beliefs in a creator. An admirer and later best friend of Richard Hawkins, one of the leading Atheist scientists whose also really vocal about it, there are several writings and interviews on his lack of faith in there being a God. To him and Dawkins, everything happened by accident. But if that is the case, then how can a stingray be perfectly designed? Too many of Adams' case for evolution is that there cannot be a God involved in the process. I personally don't see why it's so wild a thought that God could design something with the intent that as it's situation changes, the creation has certain traits built into its DNA to evolve with its surroundings. Who says that God can't keep creating new stuff after a much needed rest on the seventh day?

His 25-page speech 'Is There an Artificial God?' was my least favorite entry in the entire book. It was so rambling that it took me 3 days to finish. I hate that a stupid street preacher who was probably talking more out of his rectum than through the Holy Spirit caused Douglas Adams to become an atheist. I also hate that Adams believed that all religions were all part of 'the church'. I'm sorry but the Hindu religion is not a branch of Christianity. And the work of Baptists, Methodists or even the 21st century's Catholic should not be held accountable for the sins of the Catholic Church in the 14 and 1500s!

Douglas Adams was also a noted screenwriter. Some of the best Tom Baker Doctor Who episodes were worked on by Adams in one way or another. A couple of never produced treatments for skits to be performed with Python Graham Chapman are included and they are hilarious. There's a short story from the early days of Hitchhikers character Zaphod that had merit. But since he's probably my least favorite character in the franchise, that could explain my lackluster enthusiasm for it.

The main reason why I think most people, including myself wanted to read this book is for the title story, 'The Salmon of Doubt.' Adams began tinkering with it was a Dirk Gently novel. But as explained in an interview before you get to the story, Adams began to see that it might have worked better as a Hitchhikers story. 

I don't know. I thought it was rather entertaining and I could really envision a lot of the things Dirk saying in this book as being said by actor Samuel Barnett who played the title character for 2 seasons on BBC America's Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency.  I loved the interconnected way seemingly unconnected events played out. The dialogue, which was always Adams' strong suit, was brilliant and hilarious. I just hate that it was never finished.

Perhaps the most hilarious part of this book is the ending. It's the program from Adams' memorial service. For someone who was 'convinced there is no God', he sure had a lot of prayers, hymns and preachers at his funeral. He also had Pink Floyd's David Gilmour playing 'Wish You Were Here ', which was pretty cool. And considering how unfunny things have been around the world lately, I wish Douglas Adams was here too 

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars.

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency: The Salmon of Doubt, Volume 1

It’s All Connected (Well of course it is!) (Who are you?) (I’m you, but from a mirror universe. I’m here to help you review the Salmon of Doubt.) (I don’t need any help.) (Believe me- you will.) (Oh joy…)

   It’s taken me 40 years to finally understand the word ‘holistic.’ (Dummy!) I stayed away from holistic medicine all this time thinking it was something performed by a witch doctor. (You are such a fraidy cat!) Yet the word means literally to approach from all angles in terms of interconnectivity. So in the world of medicine, one might look at physical, mental, and social factors in relation to one’s health. When it comes to the detective Dirk Gently, it means something much more complicated.

    Dirk Gently is a holistic detective in which he attempts to understand how the universe is connected. (It usually involves a cat.) In the Salmon of Doubt, Dirk and his sidekick (No, don’t call her that!) (Don’t call who what?) (Sally Mills, don’t call her a sidekick!) (How about assistant?) (No, she hate’s that! Never call her Dirk’s assistant!) (Girlfriend?) (They haven’t even kissed yet!) (What about partner? Is that okay? Hello? Okay-…

Dirk and his partner Sally Mills go to visit a professor of Dirk’s. The detective hopes that his former mentor might explain why he’s been experiencing memories than aren’t the one’s Dirk remembers having as a child.

     A fight between Dirk and Sally (I told you not to call her an assistant!) (I didn’t. Dirk did!) (I know, I was just pointing it out.) (Well, could you stop? I’m trying to write a review here.) (Your loss….) (Anyways, where was I? Oh yes-…

A fight between Dirk and Sally results in the pair being transported throughout a multiverse of Dirk Gentlys. Separated on a world similar but not quite their own- the pair must find help in order to get back to their home universe. (This is where that cat I mentioned earlier comes in…) (I am about this close to beating you to death… Anyhoo-

Worlds Collide

        Based on the characters created by the master of sci-fi comedy, Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency and the Salmon of Doubt seeks to tie together the IDW series of Dirk Gently comics with BBC America’s 2016 smash comedy hit starring Elijah Wood. Salmon of Doubt is supposed to be the last IDW series based on the original Adams manuscripts. (Salmon of Doubt was supposed to be the name of book 3 of the Dirk Gently series.) (I was just getting to that.) (Well, you could have got there quicker. Instead, I had to tell all these find readers about it.) (I don’t need any help.) (Actually, I think you do…) (Fine- do you want to write this review?) Well, since you asked….

    Salmon of Doubt is supposed to be the last IDW miniseries based on the original Adams manuscripts. His final work, a Dirk Gently novel titled Salmon of Doubt, was left unfinished before Adams’ untimely death in 2001. After this series, any new Dirk Gently books will (supposedly) be based on the TV show. It is very fitting that a series about a detective who looks for how everything is connected in the universe is both an ending to the original books and a prequel to the BBC America TV series. It all gets a little trippy but regular Dirk Gently writer Arvind Ethan David manages to keep things sorted out quite well. (Can I speak about the art?) (By all means…)

Two Sides of One Mirror

    The art by Secret Identities’ Ilias Kryiazis was an odd mix. The parts based on the comic book miniseries were very abstract. They had almost a Central European feel to them in that Dirk’s hair looks like a out of control smoke stack. (The character of Dirk Gently is supposed to be Central European.) (Maybe that’s why he looks that way.) (How do you draw someone to look Central European? That’s like saying you can draw someone to look athletic!) (You can draw somebody to look athletic!!!) (You can? Nevermind….)

    Okay- back to the art. As I was saying, there’s a very abstract style to the Douglas Adams novel versions of characters. But the live-action versions of everybody look amazingly life-like. Kryizais’ covers that blend the two Dirk Gently universes together are pretty cool looking as well.

A Literary Ouroboros

     IDW Publishing still has a couple more issues of Salmon of Doubt left to put out. This volume only collects the first five issues. For someone who might have all of the episodes to Dirk Gently on their DVR and haven’t watched them yet, (such as you…) such as I, this is a great starting point. Like a snake eating his own tail, this is the beginning of the end (or the end of the beginning) for IDW’s take on Dirk Gently and his holistic detective agency. So far, it’s a very good introduction to the BBC America show. Volume 2 will probably dictate whether this is an acceptable ending to the Adams’ original novels.

But for now, this series (and volume 1) is very much—
Worth Consuming! (Worth Consuming!)  
(Hey, we agreed on something!) (Yeah, we did. I don’t like…) (Me either…) 
Both versions of A Madman With A Book would like to rate Salmon of Doubt as the following:

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.