The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams

Lots of sequels make the mistake of following the original winning formula too closely. Others make the mistake of not following the blueprints close enough. I tend to think that The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul, the second Dirk Gently novel by Douglas Adams, fits into the second category.

What can only be described as an 'act of God' at the London Heathrow airport results in a giant of a man in a coma, a missing bag check clerk and another woman seriously injured. Meanwhile, Dirk arrives at a paying client's home only to find the residence swarming with police and his client's head spinning atop a turntable. Add in a very angry eagle who swoops down on just about every character in the book, an elderly man in a high priced health clinic who might be Odin, the High Father of Asgard, and a whole bunch of fender benders and you've got one heck of a puzzle. Unfortunately, I think it's a puzzle that has all of the pieces. 

The previous Dirk Gently novel wrapped everything up in a very nice tiny package. It was kinda like one of those huge Hickory Farms gift sets where every inch of space is smarty filled with beef sticks, cheeses, spreads and those tiny little strawberry candies. With book two, several key elements are left unanswered. For example, Dirk's client had a TV addicted child living in the upstairs attic. Sadly, now he's an orphan. It felt like Douglas Adams didn't really know what to do with the lad and that's infuriating because of how everything is supposed to fit together. Dirk's holistic approach to solving a mystery, all clues, participants and events are supposed to tie in to one another. Could it have been that Adams was going to explain everything in a third book?

Basically none of the characters or events of the first book are mentioned in this book except for Dirk and his long-suffering secretary who finally got the nerve to quit the detective agency. When I was reading The Salmon of Doubt, I was very lost because a lot of the characters and fallout from The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul unfolds and appear in that book. 

Some trilogies start off as a single volume. Since it's a new concept, creators make a story that can go one of two ways. First, you have a happy ending that should audiences not make the work a success, it can stand on its own. Secondly, your piece becomes a colossal hit and so you end volume two on a cliffhanger of sorts so that fans have to know what happens in the final act. Perhaps this book felt so unfinished was that the author was going to give fans a thrilling ending that tied both books in the series together in a climatic crescendo. Instead, in reality Douglas Adams got bored with making a third book and instead began focusing on non-fiction articles about  conservation and technology, along with a very poorly received 5th Hitchhikers book. Then when came not time but interest in Adams wrapping up the Dirk Gently trilogy, he passed away too soon for it to be completed. 

Maybe I will get my answers in volume 2 of IDW's adaptation of The Salmon of Doubt. I'm eager to find out if that's the case. Though I might need to re-read volume 1 again. No, I definitely need a re-read.

A good read. But I expected a lot more. Plus it helps if you have an understanding of British debt law of which I have zero knowledge. But it plays into the ending and use of Wikipedia for guidance is a must. At least the explanation behind the Coke machine and the angry bird was executed brilliantly!

Rating: 6 out of 10 stars.

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency was a very odd book. Not because of the quirky, irreverent nature of author Douglas Adams. His obscured view on things is rather refreshing. No, I consider this book to be unusual because of all things you'd expect from a whodunnit/sci-fi/satire novel; and by that, I mean: math.

The edition I read was a 1987 paperback published by Pocket Books. It was 306 pages in length. Of those pages, the main, title character doesn't appear actively until you're over a third of the way done at page 113! He's talking to another character over the phone. It's another 30 pages before he actually appears in person! I've read a lot of mystery novels. Mostly, Sherlock Holmes and detective noir. A little bit of Agatha Christie. In those books, it might be one or two chapters tops before the main protagonist appears as writers like to present the crime in order to set up the plot. I'm okay with this. I've never had to get to chapter 14 to encounter the title character of a story.

Dirk is mentioned in great detail in chapter 6 by at this point by what we assume are the two main characters: Reg and Richard as Adams has devoted about 40 of the first 50 pages of the book to a very odd encounter between them. I really couldn't figure out where things were going. I was even more confused as I had watched by seasons of the BBC America's Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency starring Elijah Wood and Samuek Barnett as Dirk. None of this book unfolds like either season. Even Dirk from the book is nothing at all like Dirk from the show, other than he's rather annoying. Though I think Barnett's portrayal makes Dirk to be a more likable character. Dirk Gently on paper is like the most irredeemable character in the history of literature. You think Ebeneezer Scrooge was a monster. But he at least becomes a likable character by the end of A Christmas Carol. By the end of this book, you're convinced that fans would have hated it the main protagonist to the point that there would never be a sequel; much less a radio series and 2 TV show adaptations.

And yet considering how despicable Dirk Gently is, you kept wanting to read more!

The plot for the book is rather complicated. To reveal too much would spoil the wondrous magic of the book. This is a nearly 40 year old book. But if all you've ever read of Douglas Adams was his 5-volume Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, to give away too much would be like exposing Houdini's secrets! So how best to give a synopsis...

Here goes:

Dirk Gently is a detective. He's not a very good one. He's more of a con man; trying to get clients to fund his holiday excursions as important mind-clearing methods for solving his cases which mostly involve finding lost cats. Dirk is slightly psychic, though he would deny this to the grave. But his holistic way of looking at the universe seems to work out in the end. Here Dirk helps an old college friend escape a murder rap when the guy's boss is mysteriously killed by an unknown intruder hiding in the deceased's automobile. 

I really don't think I can say more about the plot. But I did have to re-read several sections more than once. And I had to use Google and ChatGPT AND Reddit to finally understand all of the nuances of this book.

After reading the Salmon of Doubt, I ran out and immediately bought copies of both of Adams' Dirk Gently novels. It wasn't a bad decision on my part. It's just not an easy book to read. There's a good mystery and I was able to figure out some of the clues. But if ever there was a book that needed CliffsNotes, this was it. Don't go into this expecting it to be like the BBC America series as you will be 100% disappointed. But if you approach Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency like another masterpiece by the late great Douglas Adams, you will be in for a humongous treat!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

Should Eldritch Horrors Be Forgot (Santa Saves Christmas, Book II) by Ben Wolf

The Santa Saves Christmas trilogy ends with the inclusion of Atlanteans and characters from the mind of H.P. Lovecraft. 

Thanks to the many time portals and fractures left open during Santa's battle with Father Time, ancient Atlanteans are coming through a wormhole in the Caribbean wing of the Atlantic. Along with their arrival, the ruins of Atlantis are rising to the surface, causing catastrophic flooding around the globe. Called in by the United Nations to assist in negotiations with the king of Atlantis, Santa Claus and old friend Vladimir Putin seek to find a peaceful way for all races to coexist without sending a large chunk of dry land into the bring deep. 

However, all chances for peace are off the table when a new object begins to emerge off the coast of Australia: the evil elder God, Cthulhu! As nothing in the present day is able to defeat the Eldritch horror, Father Time's predecessor, the Time Raptor travels through time and the multiverse to assemble a ragtag team of warriors, assassins and a dragon or two to defeat the ancient evil once and forever!

Yes, the mystery character that I've been trying to not spoil in my previous two reviews of Ben Wolf's Santa Saves Christmas series is Russian president, Vladimir Putin. Since all 3 books were written before Putin began his lengthy and seemingly endless assault on Ukraine, he's sort of like an anti-hero. He's bad and has done evil things, but he's also willing to save not only Christmas, but his beloved Russia from countless crises. Plus it helps to have the leader of the largest country in the world in order to gain unprecedented access to top secret technology or to get your foot in the door of the UN Building.

Should Eldritch Horrors Be Forgot was my least favorite of the trilogy. I still liked it. It just that it really felt like Ben Wolf was being really self-indulgent here. They're be these scenes where a character, very tongue in cheek would reply 'Who writes this stuff?' Once was clever. Twice was an inside joke. But at a pace of about once every 3 chapters felt really out of place; especially since neither previous book did this.

Something Ben Wolf adds at the end of each book is a 'shameless plug' in which Santa and other characters rave about the author's other works. At about page 200, one of the new characters brought over by the Time Raptor, was using a weapon that sounded really familiar. Yet, it's not something from What The Frost? or It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Raptors. So I grabbed my copy of this book and headed into our office and consulted Amazon. Sure enough, all of these new characters are from other books written by Wolf. Thus, the author wasn't just being immoderate. He was also giving readers a clue about how his other works tie-in.

I'm not sure if some of Ben Wolf's other books are my cup of tea. Many are more fantasy heavy for my taste. However, his standalone Western, Unlucky, about the gunslinger Dalton has peaked my interest. 

Also, thanks to my Amazon research, I discovered that there's a new book in the Santa Saves Christmas series. It's digital only. However, it promises to address the elephant in the room with the presence of Putin in these books. Especially as Russia's current political situations has made their president's role in these books a little more troubling. hey, I've got something to look forward to next Christmas reading season!

Lastly, I got to talk about my favorite character in the series, the cowardly but entrepreneurial Snoot. I almost replaced him as my favorite character with Putin of all people because he got ultra slimy. (Also, if an author can make a sadistic tyrant likable, he must be a good writer.) Snoot now has a girlfriend in the Uber rich business woman Gen. They're obviously having a physical relationship. But Snoot kept making everything with her about sex, even when she's trying to help save the world. It got as annoying as Wolf's love of having every character respond to Snoot's comments with eye rolls. Folks can show disgust in other physical ways.

Thankfully, Gen puts Snoot in his place before the book's end. Hopefully, we'll see a little more character growth in the online book and hopefully further adventures of Santa saving the world. Just take it down a notch with the repetition. I would hate for a great thing to become stale.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Raptors (Santa Saves Christmas, Book II) by Ben Wolf

Book 2 of Ben Wolf's 'Santa Saves Christmas' trilogy starts off almost immediately after the events What The Frost? It's Christmas Day. Dinosaurs are running amok in Moscow and Santa Claus might have something to do with that. As he arrives in Russia with his trusty triple barreled shotgun, a whip made of a strand of holiday lights and his genius tech-savvy elf Snoot, Santa comes face-to-face with a new terror: a talking Utahraptor with the ability to bend time called the Time Raptor. 

Feeling strongly that dinosaurs deserve another chance as the dominant species on Earth, the Time Raptor has opened a series of quantum portals back to prehistoric times, herding dinosaurs of all shapes, sizes and levels of death and destruction to make sure that this is mankind's last Christmas ever!

All of the main characters from the last book are back. Mrs. Claus and several of the elves have bigger roles this time around. And it doesn't read like book 2 is a rehash of the first volume. But it sure started that way. 

While dinosaurs are not the main antagonists of the first book, they do play a big roll in the third act. Having Santa Claus and his allies battle the thunder lizards again felt stale. I would have liked the opening 30-40 pages of this book a whole lot better if we hadn't already had dinosaurs already. The Time Raptor was an interesting twist. However, there's a scene where the new villain goes to Jamaica in order to feed and what the Time Raptor does or more specifically doesn't do, pretty much told how the book was going to end.

What really saves this book is the banter. Snoot is hilarious. Santa's unlikely ally in the battle against the dinosaurs is a great character as well. But I don't want to spoil who that character is. New developments in Santa's time piece which allows him to slow down time in order to make all his deliveries in a single night where pretty cool and we've yet to see everything that specialized stopwatch can do.

I liked what I read enough, despite the slight repetitive nature of the presence of ancient reptiles (or birds, depending your school of thought), to order the third and final book before I finished this one. I had about 120 pages to go and I didn't want to waste a day or two waiting to know what happens next. Though at the time of this review, I've not read as much of that last book as I'd like as holiday happenings and a couple of unexpected events have eaten into my reading time the past couple of days. But at least I've not been left in the cold unable to see what comes afterwards. I'm just going at a much slower pace than I want right now.

Another fun book filled with holiday laughs and Jurassic Park level gore.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars.

What The Frost? (Santa Saves Christmas, Book I) by Ben Wolf

The holidays is a time when I try to read a couple of prose books along with my annual assortment of seasonal comic books and graphic novels. Usually those books are non-fiction volumes that dig deep into the history and lore of the season. But then I came across an ad for this series of books on Facebook. Needless to say that the images on the cover left me intrigued.

The painted cover by Kirk DouPonce (in a style that reminds me of Robot Chicken) shows Santa Claus battling zombies. With a whip made of Christmas lights. And a shotgun... Triple barreled. Okay, you've got my interest.

The ad describes zombified reindeer. Exploding sea birds. And a foe in the form of Father Time. Alright. Shut up and take my money!

Ben Wolf crafts an insane story that combines elements of horror, time travel, and Lord of the Rings with the legend of Santa Claus. There's heavy doses of humor, surrealism and satire that make for the wildest representation of life at North Pole since the first 5 minutes of Richard Donner's Scrooged!

A couple of scenes were meant to be shocking. Normally, I'd feel those moments like a gut punch. However, since I had seen the covers of all 3 books in the Santa Saves Christmas trilogy, my level of disappointment and sadness was lessened. In other words, I knew that someone who dies in this book doesn't really die permanently. But you'll have to read the book to find out who.

My enjoyment with this first volume resulted in something I rarely do when reading a prose novel. With about 60 pages to go, I went on Amazon and ordered book 2! And that was after the spoiler!

If your view of life is a tad askew. If you like your Christmases to be a mix of both traditional and contemporary. If you root for the Grinch to make it an un-Merry Christmas to those Whos of Whoville, this is the holiday novel you've been waiting for.  

If they ever make a movie of this, you can guarantee it won't appear on the Hallmark Channel!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles

I know. I read an honest-to-God novel and it wasn't based on a comic book or superhero or established TV show or film. I was inspired to find this book after seeing the trailer for the upcoming series Paramount+. But I don't have that streaming service. So I took a shot to see if my local library had the book on hand. I guess I hit the bullseye because I found it. Boy, was that one of the smartest moves I've ever made in my 40 plus long years of being an avid reader!

The story is about a Russian aristocrat at the dawn of the Russian revolution. It's 1922 and the Bolsheviks have taken power and are creating the foundations for establishment of the Soviet Union. Count Alexander Rostov has been summoned to a tribunal.  Declared an enemy of the state, normally Rostov would be taken to a firing squad and shot or shipped off to Siberia. However, because of a poem he wrote that inspired the spark of the October Revolution, he is sentenced to permanent house arrest at the Hotel Metropol for the rest of his life. 

Should he exit the doors of the Hotel, Count Rostov will be executed. Over the span of 4 decades, the confined gentleman will make do the best he can, living in exiled luxury as guests and staff of the Metropol come and go while the Soviet Union grows into a world power.

My first experience with writer Amor Towles, I was enthralled by this 2016 work. It was pure magic. After the first 100 pages, I was no longer a reader. I too was a resident of the Hotel Metropol. I could not stop reading this book. The desire to read another page turned into an extra 5, 10, 15 pages before I realized it was way past my bedtime and begrudgingly needed to call it a night.

I realize that Ewan McGregor is playing Count Rostov on the live action series. Yet no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't picture anyone else in the role other than Kenneth Branagh. Turns out I wasn't alone in this as the Murder on the Orient Express director was on tap for the lead role for a very long time. As much as in my head, I kept hearing Branagh speaking in that French-Belgian accent as Hercule Poirot, I can't get past hearing McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi instead of a Russian polymath of refinement every time I watch the trailer for the forthcoming series.

I wish I could say that this book was perfect. It was pretty darn close. If not for having recently read the massive graphic novel Petrograd, I would have been a lot more lost understanding the early days of the Soviet Union. While written by an American, this book is very Russian. The more you know of the country's rich cultural history, the better you'll enjoy this book and I just don't know jack about Tolstoy, Chekov and their kin. Thankfully, there's so much heart and wonderment in this book, it makes up for those gaps in my knowledge. 

This book is like a dream come true for me. I've always wanted to get stuck in an airport or be snowed in at an all-inclusive ski resort or have to spend a season at a research base in Antarctica. A Gentleman in Moscow was a chance to live those bizarre fantasies vicariously through the writing of Amor Towles. Unlike most novels I read, this novel is something I see myself making another stay at Hotel Metropol!

Worth Consuming!

Ratiing: 9 out of 10 stars.

The Christmas Murder Game by Alexandria Benedict

A young woman is guilted by the final request of her deceased aunt into returning to her childhood home for one more round of Christmas Games. In the past, the Armitage children would solve puzzles during the 12 Days of Christmas in order to find their presents. But after the apparent suicide of her mother, Lily Armitage hasn't participated in the event in years. With the promise of revealing that her mom's death was in fact murder, Lily agrees to play the games one last time with her now adult cousins. The winner of the games gets the family mansion, which has been turned into a lucrative hotel. Lily just wants answers. However, someone is willing to kill off the competition for the home with no regard to helping Lily prove her mother did not commit suicide. Lily very well may have to win the game to not just get the answers she seeks, but to survive the holidays.

This very British holiday murder mystery that promises a number of games, some of which are interactive. One mission is for readers to find passages of the book turned into anagrams of the gifts from The Twelve Days of Christmas. I misunderstood the rules of that game thinking that the phrase 'A partridge in a pear tree' was hidden in Chapter One. So I spent way too much time analyzing every unusual looking sentence. It was getting really tedious going back and forth trying to determine if I was right or not. Once I found out that there wasn't a single line of the song in each chapter, I settled down and just enjoyed the book for the complex thriller it was.

This book is full of characters I liked- most of which died. This book also has a character that I absolutely despised. You'll have to read the book for yourself to determine if they lived or not. I kept going back and forth as to who the murderer was. At one point I thought it might be Lily doing the killing because her thoughts often would be expressed out loud in the next paragraph by one of the other characters. That train of thought got me thinking that maybe the whole thing is in Lily's mind. Alas, I must say, that sort of thinking is a red herring. 

To have a family member die and everybody keeps playing the games seemed a bit far fetched for me. The Armitage family get snowed in on the day of the first murder and of course, the phones go out and personal electronics and WiFi has been forbidden to prevent cheating in the Christmas Games. So I can understand why none of the characters make any attempts to go get the authorities as the nearest town is a long ways away. But I refuse to believe that a family, even as callous as the Armitages, would keep playing frivolous party games as the bodies begin to stack up.  Promise of inheriting an expensive home or not.

As much as I had difficulty with that aspect of the book, I kept on reading. I wanted to know more about these family mysteries that kept piling up. I'm pretty sure not all of them are ever fully uncovered. There's talk of one cousin who did something really bad to make them the black sheep of the family. But it's never fully explored. Another cousin has important things to tell Lily. Only they kick the bucket before saying what they know. Actually, I think this happened twice. 

Until I read this book, I didn't know that there was such a demand for Christmas set murder mysteries. However, it turns out that there are a bunch of such books. As I like a good mystery, I very much might consider making a holiday themed mystery novel a new annual Christmas tradition. (Actually, I read a Sherlock novel last year, so I guess I have already started such a tradition.) As much as this book had some implausible elements to it, this work by Alexandra Benedict did get my attention and it kept it throughout its whole 288 page length. Definitely a guilty pleasure sort of thing full of mind benders, deceits and a healthy dose of anglophilia. A passing knowledge of music theory helps. Though as I'm not very good at reading music or playing instruments, I was at a bit of a disadvantage there.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

What Child Is This?: A Sherlock Holmes Christmas Adventure by Bonnie Macbird

With illustrations by the incomparable Frank Cho (Liberty Meadows, Harley Quinn), I really thought that this was a graphic novel. Without doing any further research, I promptly ordered this through Amazon with trade credit and awaited to spend the holidays with the master detective. Imagine my disappointment when this package arrived and inside was a novel! Only a few pages were graphic and most of those pages were of small trifling items like a bottle of booze and as gas light. 

I thought about it long and hard. Do I return this? It's clearly not what I wanted. But I do love me some Sherlock Holmes. And a little bit of Frank Cho artwork is better than no Frank Cho at all. Plus the book is only 225 pages and it's set during Christmas. Thus I decided I will read me another prose novel this year!

Sherlock Holmes and trusty Watson are tasked with solving 2 mysteries; both involving sons. A nobleman asks the sleuth to locate his son who has gone missing in time for Christmas dinner. Then when a young child is nearly kidnapped in broad daylight in the streets of London, Sherlock takes it upon himself to find the would-be abductor and to determine why.

I can't really go too much into the specifics of these cases; least I spoil the book. This book debuted just a few months ago and it's just too new to ruin it for you. Needless to say, I actually figured out both mysteries in this book ahead of time and that's rare for me when it comes to Sherlock Holmes. True, those original mysteries were written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. But to say I figured things out was also in no way a slight towards Bonnie Macbird. 

Macbird's version of Holmes is just as inviting as the original. The only difference is that while Macbird's Dr. Watson, the story's narrator, is just as loquacious and poetic in his descriptions, this book isn't filled with Victorian era vocabulary and old-dated Londoner terms that would require me pulling out the dictionary to decipher. Though the author may not have intended it, I very much can envision Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman as the main characters of this story as I read it. 

I enjoyed this book very much- despite not being a graphic novel. I enjoyed it so much that after the holidays, I'm going to order the first book in the Bonnie Macbird series. I'm looking forward to a return to Victorian London and with Mrs. Macbird as my guide, I'm rather confident that I shall not get lost.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash by Jean Shepherd

I know it doesn't happen that often. But I do read long form prose books. I just feel that life is too short to not read comic books and graphic novels. 

This current holiday season marks the return of Peter Billingsley as Ralphie Parker in the HBO Max movie, A Christmas Story Christmas. I've been a fan of the original since it went to VHS all the way back in like 1984 or something like that. So I really wanted to watch this sequel. Unfortunately, I don't have HBO Max and I don't feel like paying $20 to watch it on streaming. So I settled for the next best thing- I read the book. 

Now the book is not quite like the movie. Then again, how many books really are and vice versa. Here, an older Ralphie returns to his hometown during Christmas to research an article. His first stop is Flick's Bar where he reminisces with his old buddy, now a barkeep, over some beers and holiday cheer. 

Not every story is set during Christmas. Though quite a few stories are set during a major holiday. Ralph's desire for a Red Rider BB-gun, the time his Old Man won a major award and the tyranny of Grover Dill are covered in this book. (Where the frick is Scut Farkus?) Other stories set during non-December holidays include the time the town drunk set off a monstrous Frankensteined firework during the 4th of July, going fishing with Dad and the other men of the town during Independence Day and participating in the town's Thanksgiving Day parade.

I knew way ahead of time that this book wasn't all Christmas related and I still read it to get into the Christmas spirit anyway. It helped that the framing story of Ralph being at Flick's Bar was set at Christmas. Unfortunately, those segments just aren't as good as the main stories themselves. Thankfully, those framing segments are only a couple of pages long.

When Jean Shepherd writes about his childhood during the Depression, it's anything but depressing. These are essays filled with humor, joy and a touch of innocence. But get Shepherd in his modern day setting (which at the time was the early-to-mid 1960s), things aren't as polished and seem kinda trite. It's almost like the author knew he needed to get to the past to get the story going but he at times just didn't know how to get there. So if you can get past those awkward transitions and segues then you are in for some real treats.

Several of the larger stories were published previously in Playboy. Despite this, nothing here is bawdy or salacious. Every story is set during Ralph's childhood and they entertain very well. My favorite story, not used in the 1983 movie, was one in which Ralph found a book in his parents' bedroom and did a book report on it. The book was written in Old English, so he didn't really understand it. But in reality, it was a pretty steamy book. The part where Ralph's teacher questions him on if he really read the book and he lies about how a big kid just randomly gave him the book one day had in me in stitches. So deftly written.

There are a couple of other books out there written by Shepherd about Ralph and I really want to read them. I'm going to wait until after Christmas to get them from Amazon. Hopefully, I'll get a gift card or two. It's worth the wait and hopefully, it won't cost $20 per volume...

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

Mort by Terry Pratchett

Death takes an apprentice. He also takes a powder. 

A major plot in almost every Discworld novel has been how modern concepts have bleed into the near medieval-level society. This sort of fusion of old and new has resulted in some very hilarious situations. And it all starts here with Mort!

Mort becomes Death's apprentice. But in reality, Death is looking for someone to take the yolk of grim reaper off his back so that he can really 'live'. When Mort interferes with assassination of a young princess, the Not-So Grim Reaper sets off events that threatens to unravel the very fabric of reality. 

I'm not going to spoil this book too much if possible. But things that Death explains to Mort at the end of this book greatly explains why things get anachronistic from here on out. 

Again, you don't have to read the Discworld books in order. But as I am starting to re-read some of these books, such as Mort, I am finding that it really helps. Mort is the fourth book in the series and I had read it years ago. But I am finding that I didn't understand how vital this volume was to the entire run of novels written by Sir Terry. 

As Mort is an early book, it lacks some of that polish that you might see in some later books. But with making Death a main character, I feel that Pratchett's vision for his Discworld series really started to take shape. Rincewind is an okay character. But he's no Death! 

A good book that establishes a major plot thread though 30+ other novels. But it's got a way to go to being as good as those later books.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars.

Atomic Frenchie, Vol. 2: The Cow with the Nuclear Heart! (Family Comic Friday)

Family Comic Friday digs into it's to-read pile of recently published books this week to bring you a hybrid graphic novel. It's quite silly. Tons of fun. And maybe just a little bit older of a read than for it's target audience. Find out all about it as we review Atomic Frenchie, Vol. 2: The Cow with the Nuclear Heart!

Atomic Frenchie, Vol. 2: The Cow with the Nuclear Heart
Written by Thomas E. Sneigoski
Art by Tom McWeeney
Published by Insight Comics
Pages: 168
Retail: $14.99

Kirby, the French Bulldog determined to conquer the world is back! But before he can obtain the secrets to total global domination, he must follow through on his promise to help the ghost of Professor Erasmus J. Peckinpah be reunited with his cryogenically frozen body. That will mean that the two, along with OB the super turtle will need to take a road trip to Area 51. It's deep within the bowels of that heavily guarded facility that Erasmus hopes that a nuclear powered cow has the spark to bring his popsicle of a body back to life! This task will not be easy.

No, we're not talking about all the armed guards and soldiers that protect Area 51. They're a piece of cake for this oddball trio. No, it's the roving gangs of bikers, a ghostly prospector and a deranged (LIVING) mad scientist that will make things tricky. Oh, and did we forget to mention the aliens?

Atomic Frenchie is a book that really can only be described as a hybrid graphic novel. Over half of this book is written in chapter prose form. Throughout the book are comic book scenes that range from just a few panels to a couple of pages.

The tone of the prose sections and the comic ones have a slightly different feel to them. You know that old campfire game? The one where someone starts a story and then the next person builds on the tale only for things to go completely off the rails by the time the story is over? That's how I feel about Atomic Frenchie. I didn't hate this concept. But I would like to know if I am right on the money about it. Does Tom McWeeney (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) control the plot of the story when it's his turn to illustrate the adventures of Atomic Frenchie? Or does Thomas E. Sneigoski (Bone) write up those scenes too? I tried to Google an answer and got nowhere. But that's my theory and I am sticking to it... for now.

This book is full of surprises. Quite of few of them is rather bizarre. Amazon suggests that this book is perfect for ages 8-12. But with some rather old pop culture references, some toilet humor, and a couple of very mild swears, this might be a book more for those aged 10-15.

Another potential put off for some young graphic novel readers is the lack of graphic in regards to that which is novel. I am not criticizing the format. I think it's rather awesome. But parents and guardians might need to explain that this is a mix of two different types of books to the reader.

Secretly, like the parent who sneaks in veggies into a unknowing child's food, that's how proud you grown-ups should be when offering Atomic Frenchie to your child. They'll be hooked on the colorful and humorous art. But they'll actually be doing a whole lot more reading that expected too!

Atomic Frenchie, Vol. 2 was a wild road trip of different genres. Great characters and tons of crazy stuff. It's like Mel Brooks and The Tick had a baby!

Atomic Frenchie, Volume 2: The Cow with the Nuclear Heart  is available in hardcover. Atomic Frenchie, Vol. 1: Sit. Stay. Rule. is available in both print and digital formats.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

This review was concurrently published on Outrightgeekery.com. 

Going Postal by Terry Pratchett

A week ago I finished Terry Pratchett's Making Money. It was the second book of what fans call the 'Moist Von Lipwig' trilogy. I didn't have book one and I sure as heck wasn't going to start on book 3. Regardless, starting in the middle, while a good read, it wasn't the best read, especially in terms of having read about 3/4 of the Discworld series. 

The day after I completed Making Money, we were notified that all book stores were to shut down by 5pm. So I rushed off to the book stores in search of some more Discworld books. It was at a Barnes and Noble that I finally found the opening chapter of Moist's adventures in 'honest' business.

Here in Going Postal, Moist Von Lipwig is offered the job of a lifetime. (That's because if he refuses Lord Vetinari's employment opportunity, it will be the end of Lipwig!) Moist is to become the postmaster general for Ankh-Morpork's fledgling post office. Who are we kidding here? The post office had gone way past failed. 

Armed with the Discworld's oldest junior mail sorter, a quality control inspector obsessed with pins and a golem parole officer, Moist Von Lipwig will play the odds (and probably cheat) to make the post office relevant again.

That plan isn't going to be easy as Moist and the post office must compete against big communication in the form of the clacks system. It's a corporation that is just as devious as Lipwig. Only, Lipwig has a heart! And that very well could be the con man's downfall- especially when Moist falls in love!

I wish I had read Going Postal first. It made me appreciate Making Money all that much more. I thought I hated Lipwig. But in a lot of ways, Moist is like me. Not, I am not a shyster. But I do have an amazing ability to remember faces. I might not remember names, but I can always carry on a conversation with anyone I've ever meet as I can remember such details of a person's life just like Lipwig. 

I used to based how I conducted business like Bart Simpson when he turned his tree house into a casino. But I might start schmoozing with folks based on how Lipwig runs the postal service.  

There is one downside to having read this book out of turn. A lot of what Pratchett has planned for Moist is hinted at throughout almost the entire 470 plus pages of the book. Instead of being a surprise, I was more of like 'oh, I see where he's going with this.'

I just started reading the third and sadly final book in the trilogy, Making Steam. With this one, I can see already that same formula as things hinted in the last third of Making Money is already happening here in the last book's opening 25 pages.

When if comes to Pratchett's Discworld books, one is not required to read any of the books in order. Well, I think that rule does not apply here! If you own (and haven't read yet) Making Money and Raising Steam- don't! That is until you get a copy of this novel and read it first. You will enjoy the second book a whole bunch more if you do follow my advice. 

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

Making Money by Terry Pratchett

Perhaps my least favorite book in the Discworld series. 

Con man turned Ankh-Morpork's postmaster general, Moist Von Lipwig, has been given a new assignment. Lord Vetinari want's Moist to head up one of the city's banks. With Moist's experience with money, he'd be more at home holding up the bank. 

But there's some secrets buried deep in the vaults of the old bank and the Patrician puts Moist in charge in hopes of getting to the bottom of things. If Moist ends up changing the way citizens look at money by incorporating a new current- so be it. The rest of the bank's board members won't be happy with their new leader. But then again, Moist isn't really all that happy with this new assignment either. 

I will say that this book is filled with a ton of extra characters and that made me happy. Most of the City Watch pops up. So does quite a few wizards, a certain hot dog vendor, as well as a host of dwarfs, postmen and a golem who is going through a sort of identity crisis. The only thing missing were one or more of the Wyrd Sisters. 

Making Money is basically the second book of a trilogy that stars Moist Von Lipwig. There may have been more books on the way, but Pratchett's untimely death, and his daughter's insistence that no further Discworld books will even be published, might have paved the way for these books being known as the 'Von Lipwig Trilogy'.  

Maybe I should have read book 1 first. But I didn't have book one and I surely didn't want to start with book 3, which I also have. Social distancing has made other things a priority at the moment. And when you want to read Terry Pratchett, you'll take what you can get. 

I'm trying to be fair here with this rating. But there were a couple of characters that I absolutely hated. In fact, at least one of them felt just totally unnecessary. The ending solution was pretty awesome. And I love the Patrician, and Carrot and Sam Vimes and all three have some big roles here! That's a plus. But this still isn't my favorite book. It actually knocks Carpe Jugulum up a notch. 

Rating: 6 out of 10 stars.

Lords and Ladies by Terry Pratchett

The Wyrd Sisters have returned from a lengthy trip abroad. Much has changed since Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Magrat Garlick were last in Lancre. The King has decided to marry Magrat. Magrat just doesn't know it yet. Nanny Ogg's son Jason has been perfecting his craft as an ironsmith. And a new generation of witches have been going up the mountain to perform some spells much to Granny's dismay. (They haven't been wearing any drawers!)

It's the dancing that's the real problem for Granny. (When it comes to prancing around without your drawers on, if you got it, flaunt it) No, it's the mere act of dancing so close to the circle of stones called The Dancers. See, this area of the mountain is very close to a weak point in the dimension that Discworld occupies. For the stars are lining up just right and when that happens it will allow the elves to enter Granny Weatherwax's domain.

Elves are not those cute little sprites we all love. They might look all sweet. But, they're actually cruel and mean. And they once tried to imprison Granny Weatherwax when she was a wee lass. It's a sort of personal history that makes Granny hate elves.

The witches stories are generally not my favorite Discworld tales. I didn't like Equal Rites that much. And I hated Carpe Jugulum. But I'm trying to read the entire series and due to how much I enjoyed Unseen Academicals, starring the Wizards, I was in the mood for some magic.

Lords and Ladies was one of the best out of this entire series of Discworld. It was extremely funny with some awesome quotes that I don't think I'll ever forget. Plus, there were some moments that were darn right scary. And it's pretty hard for a book without pictures to scare me.

One issue that I have with the Discworld books are how metaphysical that they can get. The floating planetoid has a unique magical field that has been established all the way since the opening chapter of the very first novel, The Colour of Magic. While this element allows for some hilarious moments, I feel that Terry Pratchett relied on this too much as a crutch. The late author never seemed to run out of ideas. Yet that creativity would get to the point that Pratchett had trouble putting his stamp on the final product.

 Lords and Ladies doesn't fall into that trap. At less than 400 pages, this is one of the shorter Discworld novels. The pacing felt right. The plot didn't drag. And everything seemed to wrap itself up in a tiny little package.

I've got 16 Discworld books left to read. Two of them focus on the Wyrd Sisters. If they are as good as Lords and Ladies was, I will jump at the chance to own them immediately! I just got to find an affordable copy.

A must for fans of comedic fantasy!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

Pyramids by Terry Pratchett

After spending several years in Ankh-Morpork training to become an assassin, Teppic is summoned back to his homeland of Djelibeybi. His father, the Pharaoh, has died. It's now time for Teppic to become the king. Having become enamored with Ankh-Morpork's 'modern' amenities, such as indoor plumbing, Teppic has big plans for his kingdom. But he runs afoul of Dios, the chief high priest who insists on following 7,000 years of tradition. 

Meanwhile, the kingdom is preparing for the burial of Teppic's father. There's the embalmers. The miniature makers. And then there's the architects tasked with building the largest, most modern pyramid ever constructed in the land. It threatens to bankrupt an already cash-strapped kingdom. But with anything so massive and magical, this great pyramid Djelibeybi's very plane of existence!

I had mixed feelings about this volume of the Discworld series. I normally prefer the Ankh-Morpork stories the best. But the segments that take place in the 'big city' were my least favorite. Maybe I'm just not a fan of the Assassin's Guild. 

When Teppic gets to Djelibeybi, about 80 pages in, the story gets really good. Pyramids is a fantastic parody of Ancient history and lore. I enjoyed the satire on polytheistic religion and warfare. But when the story starts to delve into physics and math, I kinda glazed over. I understand not enjoying the parts about math. But I usually am in love with physics. I guess I just can't understand magical physics very well. 

Some segments of this book seemed really familiar. Have I read this one before? If so, it was before I started tracking books on this blog. I for one am not big on re-reading books as there are so many volumes to enjoy and so little time. But if I had read this one prior, I didn't really mind a repeat.

A funny book that gets quite technical at times. Times that for the most part, felt unnecessary.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars.

Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett

Yes! I know! I read a book without any pictures! The recent news about the BBC's forthcoming The Watch based on Terry Pratchett's Discworld series inspired me to dig into my to-read pile and pull out this novel! 

Unseen Academicals stars the wizards of Unseen University. Upon a review of university endowments, it is discovered that if the school does not produce a sports team soon, they will lose a hefty portion of their food budget. At the same time, in the city of Ankh-Morpork, Lord Vetinari is working behind the scenes to transform the illegal game of foot-the-ball into something a little more respectable. Thus, the mages of Unseen University now have permission to field a team. Only they must reorganize the rules into something a little less deadly... and they can't use their magic to win the game either!

Unseen Academicals introduces several new characters to Discworld. There's Trev Likely, whose father was a foot-the-ball legend, once scoring 2 goals in 1 game! We're introduced to the stern but rather lovely Glenda, the head mistress of the night shift kitchen. Lastly, we've got Mr. Nutt. He was my favorite of the new introductions. Nutt is a goblin who is relegated to the candle-making detail for the entire university. But there's more than meets the eye to this mythical creature who is literally a Renaissance man. 

I Googled Mr. Nutt and it appears that this book the character's only appearance. Unseen Academicals was published in 2009. Terry Pratchett sadly left us in 2015 and it seems that he never got around to giving us more of Nutt. The way this book ended, I could have seen 1 or 2 more novels continuing the evolution of the character in other realms of the Discworld. 

I devoured this book like a shark through chum. I was hungry for more Discworld and when I got my teeth on some, I couldn't put it down. Yes- I went almost a week reading nothing but Discworld. No comics or graphic novels. And I don't think my appetite has been sated yet!

A very fun book that skewers organized team sports, gender dynamics, class and status, psychology, romance and much much more!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

NOS4A2 by Joe Hill

I'm not going to say that Joe Hill is a better writer than his father, Stephen King. But I will say that he's quite more of a terrifying writer. I've read IT. I've read The Shining and several other Stephen King books. While they are great reads, none of them have ever frightened me like a work from Joe Hill.

Locke and Keye was a creepy good horror comic. The Firefighter was an engrossing, scary futuristic biotech gone wrong thriller. And then there's NOS4A2...

A young girl named Vic has the ability to travel great distances thanks to a powerful psychic bond with her Raleigh bicycle. One day Vic runs afoul of Charlie Manx; a sadistic murderer of children who travels to and from realities in his Rolls Royce Wraith. With the vanity plate NOS4A2, Manx lures children into his car under the promise of taking them to Christmasland. But this Winter Wonderland is anything but a Utopia as Manx and his automobile feeds on the energy and innocence of the children they kidnap. 

As a result of Vic's encounter with the madman, Manx is captured and imprisoned. Manx spends his final days in a prison hospital. And life seems to go on for Vic. But it's not an easy life as PTSD and drug use have put a toll on the young lady.

Years later, Vic and her son spend a summer at a cabin by the lake in hopes of repairing their fragile relationship. Things seem to be going well as the days go by. That is until a maniac in a gas mask arrives in an antique Rolls. 

Vic fights for the life of herself and her son. She almost wins against the armored man, when a silver hammer goes down across her spine. Stunned, Vic watches as the gas-masked man and his accomplice steal her son, Wayne. That other character appears to be Charlie Manx! But Vic just received news earlier that day that Manx died of old age in prison!

It took me over a year to finish this book. The character of the gas-masked man, Bing Partridge, was so deranged that I had to put the book away for a while. I don't often let a book defeat me. I try to conquer it but if I find a book to be just unreadable, I will put it down and not look twice. 

NOS4A2 was a great book. I just couldn't give up on it. The novel just had a sexually depraved character who really made me really uncomfortable. Like Joey (on Friends) having to put Cujo in the freezer because it got too scary for him, I had to let this book go for a while! But Joe Hill had his hooks in me and after a good enough break, I returned!

It's almost October. That means spooky reads for a spooky time of year. If you are looking for a lengthy read that will unsettle you with a touch of the spirit of Christmas, then you need to take NOS4A2 for a ride. Just don't say I didn't warn you if you need to hide this book behind the ice cream for a while.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

The Good Son by You-Jeong Jeong

Yu-Jin wakes up covered in blood and without any memory of the night before. He vaguely thinks he heard his mother crying out his name at some point. But he really isn't certain. When he goes downstairs to check on her, Yu-Jin finds his mother dead on the floor. Her throat have been slit straight across by a sharp object. 

Now Yu-Jin must piece together what happened the night before. All he can remember is his mother calling his name- maybe. If she did scream his name, was it because she was crying for his help or begging him for her life?

I first heard about The Good Son a couple of weeks ago on The Tonight Show. Jimmy Fallon was just about to go on Summer vacation and he wanted something to read. Fallon had selected 5 books. It was up to the audience to vote on which. While The Good Son was not the winner (The Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi was the overwhelming victor) it was this Korean thriller that interested me the most of the quintet of novels.

The Good Son's author, You-Jeong Jeong, is supposedly considered the Asian Stephen King. At least, that's according to Jimmy Fallon. That plus the premise I previously mentioned were what sold me on finding this book. I must tell you, it wasn't as easy as I thought it would. 

I went to my local library and discovered on a computer that the book was on the new book shelf. However, due to a glitch in the database's programming, the author's name was recorded as Chong. Apparently, Chong is the Americanized version of Jeong. Thus, it was catalogued and shelved in error. Thus, if you are looking for this book at your local library and you can't find it in the J's, check under C for Chong.

At just over 300 pages and written/translated in a very smooth and engaging pace, this was a quick read. It was very deceptive at times. Though the novel was not as scary as I was expecting from the South Korean version of Stephen King, The Good Son did have a couple of eerie moments. 

The book was translated by award winning translator, Chi-Young Kim. I would be very interested by someone who has read The Good Son in it's native language to tell me how it differed from the English interpretation. There's a very legitimate question here- did I enjoy the creativity of You-Jeong Jeong? Or was it the choice of words by Chi-Young Kim that won me over? Either way, I would be more than willing to read more from either the author or translator!

Going on a quick vacay? Or want a summer read for a rainy evening? The Good Son will fit the bill. 

It's a bloody mystery without being gory. It's a sensual thriller without being overtly sexual. And it was this close to being what Jimmy Fallon was going to read while on his summer hiatus. Just don't do what he did and miss out on this international chiller from Penguin Books.

Written by You-Jeong Jeong
Translated by Chi-Young Kim
Publisher: Penguin Books
US Release: June, 2018

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

This review was published concurrently on Outrightgeekery.com.

Warlock Holmes: The Hell-hound of the Baskervilles

Holmes and Watson. It is a pair of names that has been synonymous with crime and mystery for over 100 years. But what if Holmes wasn’t a master detective? Instead, Holmes is a wizard – and he’s not a very good one at that! What if Dr. John Watson was the brains of the operation and it is his skills of deduction that brought London’s criminal element to justice?

He’s Getting Better

Warlock Holmes and the Hell-hound of the Baskervilles is the second book in the Warlock Holmes series of novels. Written by comedian G.S. Denning, the Warlock Holmes books are a mash-up of mystery, spoof, and parody. The first book, A Study in Brimstone, was laugh-out loud funny. Being Denning’s first work, it was a little unpolished at times. So, does the sequel surpass the first book or do the adventures of  Warlock and Watson hit the sophomore slump?

Hell-Hound of the Baskervilles takes place 6 months after the events of A Study in Brimstone. Warlock Holmes, for better part of words, has been rendered incapacitated by Dr. Watson after Professor Moriarty possessed the body of so-called master detective. (But he’s getting better!)

When a potential client arrives at 221B Baker Street, it’s up to Watson to take up the case of recovering a missing artifact. Since Watson is really the genius behind Holmes’ reputation, this mystery should be easy as pie. As the case deepens, Watson learns that the item he’s tasked to find can restore people to a less horizontal position. Adding to the suspense Dr. Watson must beat agents of Moriarty to it first. Should he fail, let’s just say this might be a one-man show from now on.

From the Journals of Martin Freeman

Book two is filled with several short stories based on some very popular cases of Holmes and Watson. A couple of them may be little more obscure to the average fan of Sherlock. There’s a definite nod to Holmes creator Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in every adventure with a touch of Terry Pratchett thrown in for good measure. Yet, no matter how I read these tales, I can’t help but hear Martin Freeman narrating Dr. Watson’s recounts of Victorian Era crime. (That also means I picture Benedict Cumberbatch as Warlock. Only he’s a complete buffoon instead of an arrogant ass.)

Madcap on the Moors

The title story is based on perhaps the most well-known Sherlock Holmes adventure of all: The Hound of the Baskervilles. It provides a top-notch spin on the hellish canine that haunts the British countryside. This episode also discloses the origin of Warlock Holmes, which I didn’t think was such a great idea.

The parody of Warlock Holmes works in that the so-called master detective couldn’t find his way out of bed without the help of Watson. He can perform magic but only because he doesn’t really know what he’s doing. Yet this origin almost makes Warlock kind of brilliant in an accidental sort of way. When the story returns to the present, Holmes is stupid again. So either writer G.S. Denning made a continuity error or there’s more to the legend of Warlock Holmes than meets the eye. I’m really hoping it is the latter.

In many ways, Hell-hound is superior to it’s predecessor. The second book was a lot less goofy than A Study in Brimstone; except for the tricycle race to the death in story four. (But, that was an okay escape into the absurd.) Book Two reads much better and I cannot wait until May, 2018 when book 3 is published. Only then shall I feel confident to decide if the revelation of Warlock’s early days was a mystery best left unsolved or not.

Worth Consuming.

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

Review originally published June 13, 2017 on outrightgeekery.com