Marvel Romance Redux: Restraining Orders Are for Other Girls

I’ve one last Valentine’s Day themed comic to review this year. Marvel Romance Redux takes classic Marvel romance comics and replaces all of the original dialogue with crazy new stuff. For example, one story has a psychotic girl becoming a scientologist in order to win the heart of her favorite action movie star. Another story has a girl secretly ratting out her friends for buying answers to college exams and ends up falling in love with the dealer.

This isn’t a new concept. I have a few books like this. They’re pretty clever, though every once in a while you get a story that’s just plain “stoopid.” In my opinion, if 75% of the redone tales are funny, then the comic is a win. Sadly, Kyle Baker writer and artist of many great comics, including his run on Plastic Man, is by far the worst of the re-storytellers.

There are at least 4 more books in the Marvel Romance Redux line. I just happened across this in a dollar box a few years back. If I find the other titles- SCORE! But, I’m not going to actively pursue the rest of the book either.

There is a series called “What Were They Thinking?!” by Titan books. I really enjoyed that series and if they ever decide to make more of them, I’ll consider paying full price for them. I advise if you like parody books like this one I just read, you should find the Titan Books series. You’ll be glad you did.

Worth Consuming.

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars.

Teen Titans Go! #4 (2003-08 series)

Sure, the comic is titled Teen Titans Go, but the book is based on the original Teen Titans cartoon, not the most recent revival of the series that oddly has the same name as this comic. I’m not sure why DC did that except maybe to not cause confusion with the regular Teen Titans title which is rated for teens and is not all-age friendly as this book is.

In this issue, Cyborg and Beast Boy dare Robin to take Starfire out on a date after she discovers Valentine’s Day. Along the way, a villain that I’ve never heard of before has his sights set on turning the Titans into his very own squad of puppets.

I liked this comic. But, to be honest, I like the new Teen Titans Go series more than this one. The new series is funny and I like the art better.  The secondary story of Raven finding love with a Goth is very funny and reminds me of the current show. I will give this comic some props because the first comic based on the TV show was a “pictographic comic,” using stills taken directly from the cartoon and are not original stories. Marvel does this with the Ultimate Spider-man series and I hate it.

This original art and story Valentine’s Day special is a welcome addition to my collection. The cover does actually occur in the book and normally that is a huge pet peeve. However, I think Robin is being snogged by cupid and the Titans in the back ground are having a Valentine fight, so I think the cover is supposed to be more symbolic than a promise of dangerous love by an arrow welding vixen.

Worth Consuming.

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

The Tick’s Big Romantic Adventure

The Tick and Arthur are back in the Valentine’s Day special. First the guys battle a villain who uses a weaponized box of Whitman’s Samplers. Then a mysterious man in a diaper accidently drenches Tick in a love potion that’s caused his heart to be stolen by a bag lady. When this lady isn’t stealing everything the Tick and Arthur have that isn’t nailed down, the threesome becomes a foursome with Arthur’s girlfriend, Chet and attempt a double date.

This issue had me laughing out loud. Tick comics aren’t easy to come by- at least not on the budget I’ve imposed on myself. So, to find this Valentine’s gem was worth more than a bunch of candy hearts and pop culture Valentines in grade school. It's a totally insane adventure starting my favorite superhero to call himself The Tick!

I just wish these books were in color.

Worth Consuming.

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

Happy Valentine's Day, 2014!!!

funny

GI Joe #78

Well as you can guess, Generals Hawk and Hollingsworth have had the Cobra debacle pinned on them and they face a court martial. Just because this plot was telegraphed in the last issue, what I did not expect was for Roadblock to get tagged as a conspirator as well. Someone high up in Congress and the Pentagon wants the Joe team to take the fall and hard. As Roadblock is on the lam, the generals are sent to an Army psychiatric center for observant and probably an itchy G-man’s trigger finger.

While the Joe team that was stationed on Cobra Island are confined to the USS Hawk (Google greatest playset ever!), many Joes that I’ve noticed have been AWOL for several issues are brought in by fugitive Roadblock to clear the good name of the Joes and to rescue the generals.

The issue ends with one of the best covert ops missions ever captured in comics. The scene is full of lots of great shoot ‘em up action and witty one liners. And, you will not believe who pulls these renegade Joes fat from the fire to end the conflict and make the team righteous again.

Worth Consuming.

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

GI Joe #77

This issue is more low key as the Cobra Schism is over and it’s time for both Joes and Cobra to pick up the pieces. There’s an uneasy truce as it appears that the Joes picked sides with the loser. Thankfully, the victor of the Cobra civil war have allowed for the soldiers to return to the states peacefully. But expect a colossal catfight between Lady Jaye and Zartan’s sister before the withdrawal of the Joes concludes.

As well as the mother of all non-super powered comic book girl fights, there are a number of secrets being revealed. True, this intrigue is actually out hat to me, as the matter as to who is actually inside the Cobra Commander suit is quickly becoming the least secure secret in the Gulf Coast. Also, the crap looks to hit the fan as Hawk and Gen. Hollingsworth are summoned to the Pentagon to answer for the Cobra schism debacle. Expect the Joes to come under scrutiny and fire in future issues.

This issue was raucous fun and full of surprises. Again, I’m stumped as to why Scarlett, Snake Eyes, and several other key Joes were never involved in this new campaign against Cobra.

Worth Consuming.

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

Legion of Super-heroes in the 31st Century, volume 1: Tomorrow’s Heroes

Even though this Man of Steel really hasn’t finished puberty, he goes by the name of Superman- not Superboy, in this series. There’s a good reason for this trade, based on a CW cartoon of the same name (without the “in the 31^st Century” part) from about 5 years ago. In order to not confuse kids as to who is Superboy, producers decided to go ahead and grant Clark Kent the moniker of Superman during his animated jaunt through the 31^st century.

I really liked that series. I didn’t watch it regularly because it came on at like 7 in the morning on Saturdays. But the few shows I caught, I really liked. The Legion of Superheroes is led by Lightning Lad and along with Superman, boasts Saturn Girl, Bouncing Boy, Timber Wolf and a host of other teenaged super heroes, protecting the universe from the like of the Fatal Five and just about any nasty alien race you can imagine.

This collection of comics based on the cartoon captures the spirit of the series quite well. There’s several more issues in the series that have yet and probably never will be collected in a trade format. But, I look forward to finding those issues one day. I’d also love to have this series on DVD.

Worth Consuming.

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.