Deadpool & The Mercs for Money, Vol. 0: Merc Madness

I have a saying when it comes to my taste in music that applies to other aspects of my interests. 'The worst Queen song is better than no Queen song at all.' I have certain things I like where even if it's the worst of the worst, I'd rather be entertained by it than just being bored. 

That's kinda how I feel about Deadpool's Mercs for Money era. It's perhaps the Merc with a Mouth's least entertaining period and yet, if I had to choose between reading a trade paperback full of these guys' exploits or watching paint dry, I'll take Wade Wilson and Co. every time. 

One of my biggest pet peeves with the Mercs for Money involves the line-up. There are essentially 7 members of the group, if you count Wade Wilson's leadership of the team. Living cartoon Slapstick is hilarious. Avengers reservist Stingray is a funny running joke on how that's not how the 'World's Greatest Heroes' do things. I've been a fan of immortal hit man Terror since I read his Christmas themed issue years ago and I love how he's kinda turned into a parody of Serpico and Donnie Brasco. Anti-heroes Solo and Foolkiller help to ground Deadpool into being a responsible leader. I'm not sure why you've got 2 moral anchors on the same team. It feels like overkill. And then there's Masacre...

Known as the Mexican Deadpool, Masacre speaks only Spanish. I'd have no problem with the character speaking exclusively Spanish if the writers/editors (or both) would translate what he's saying. But this was published during the Axel Alonso era of Marvel, which means these issues were released under the guidance of the worst editor the House of Ideas ever had. Each issue comes with a snarky editor's note telling readers to learn Spanish if they want to know what Masacre has to say; once again alienating readers instead of embracing all sides of the fanatic spectrum. So with not understanding what 1/7th of the team has to say and being treated like dirt because I know French and American Sign Language instead of Spanish, I don't feel as connected to the Mercs with Money compared to other Deadpool series. 

'Merc Madness' is a 5-issue series in which Deadpool's team comes into possession of a robot that might have insight into the future. Turns out this machine is one of those legendary Recorders and after going through a rip in the fabric of space, it was ingrained with unlimited knowledge of the multiverse. Naturally, Wade Wilson sees dollar signs; immediately putting it up for auction. This puts a targets on the backs of the Mercs with Money until they can deliver the Recorder to the secret hideout of the highest bidder.

Along with the main story like this trade paperback includes the one-shot Deadpool: Masacre. Apparently it's a Cinco de Mayo special issue (for those of you who like to collect holiday themed comics). At first, I'm apprehensive because if I know anything about Masacre, it's that he speaks untranslated Spanish. However, from what I can gather from intro at the beginning of the special, writer's Gerry Duggan and Brian Posehn wrote the entire script in English, translated it into Spanish and then back into English in order to hilariously massacre everything in some odd Marvel version of the kid's game Telephone. 

As a result, you do get this hilarious Batman-like origin story of the Mexican Deadpool. Bloody too! However, based on how the editor's keep telling their readers to learn Spanish if they've got complaints about not understanding what the characters has to say, the idea behind this one-shot seems insensitive. Don't get me wrong! I love Deadpool's irreverence and I'm not calling for the character to be cancelled. It's just another example of how Axel Alonso was just as irreverent, crude and crash like the rest of us; he just couldn't care less what his white, older customer base wanted. Some might applaud that way of thinking. But as someone who majored on the business side of the culinary industry, I know that such alienation isn't how your run a multi-national company. Alas, Alonso had to offend somebody. He just chose to turn away the population who had the most spending power.

It's not my favorite Deadpool volume. But as a fan of the character, I'm going to keep it. Though I'm culling from my massive collection, this one will stay. How else can I say I have the entire gambit of Deadpool stories?

Rating: 5 out of 10 stars.

Marvel Comics Presents #163

Issue #164 appears to be full of promise as 3 segments come to a close in this issue. 

If you recall what I said in my review of the last issue, the Vengeance/Diabolique story has been straddling the line between chilling thriller and occult horror that I just can't stand reading. Well, the finale crossed that line and scared the hell outta me. If you ask me, I don't think that this is the last we've seen of evil little Diabolique. That prospect is going to keep me up at night...

The New Warriors story ends with a pleasing guest cameo from a bizarre and rarely seen member of the FF Family. It was a great story if only for the inclusion of Slapstick, the Living Cartoon. I'm more than willing to give this era's New Warriors regular series a read in hopes it captured just a fraction of the insanity and laughs. 

As for the Mace story, it ended on an uptick. The middle two chapters had been rather cliched what with ninjas and clones and such. But the ending added a depth of mystery missing since the introductory chapter. Still, it wasn't enough to turn my into a fan.

Tigra's story rounds out the quartet. The former Avenger has taken refuge in the Australian Outback and everything seems idyllic. That is until a group of mercenaries arrives at the village that houses Tigra and kidnaps most of the population. Now Tigra is on the hunt for her missing 'kinsmen'.

The plot of the Tigra story doesn't really do anything for me. But that John Czop (New Warriors) artwork is just breathtaking. Pretty risque stuff for 1994 Marvel Comics.

2 great stories come to an end here. A third story at least comes to a thankful end. And the 4th is at least a feast for the eyes. Overall, it's a good read. But I can't wait to see what the next issue brings with 3 all new stories waiting in the wings.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars. 

Marvel Comics Presents #162

The lone segment that is brand new stars the former Avenger, Tigra. Having found a new home in the Australian outback, the bikini-clad hero has become a defacto leader of a tribe of indigenous peoples. She'll hopefully become their savior when a group of guerrillas arrives and enslaves a good chunk of the village population.

The Vengeance story continues to chill me to my very core. The demonic moppet known as Diabolique is pretty uh, well, demonic. We learn that while her green pal Playmate is technically her servant, Diabolique is servant to an ancient Persian evil...

I love the New Warriors story. Slapstick is a great addition to it. The time bending properties of the villain is awesome. The banter is hilarious. Art is excellent. I just love everything about this story.

When it comes to the story about Mace, the cloned ninja assassin, I've gotten bored with it. Just seems like every clone action movie story that floated around in the early 90s. I'll be glad when this one ends.

If Slapstick would have joined the New Warriors around this time period, I'd probably be adding those books to my wish list. While the Living Cartoon does eventually become a New Warrior, it's not until later on and probably not as hilarious as this story starring Slapstick has been.

I like the Vengeance story. It's a horror tale that is a good scare. Demons and that sort of terror isn't really my thing and Diabolique is just barely tolerable. If things get more evil, I probably will find my enjoyment of this story start to 180. Plus, that big baddie reveal; I feel it's taken some inspiration from Stephen King's It...

As for the Tigra story, the narrative is still building. But that artwork by John Czop (New Warriors) is, well, I like to think of myself as a gentleman. Put it this way, if you remember the Marvel Swimsuit Specials of the 90s, then you'll get my drift with how Czop has illustrated the very slinky Tigra. It's very risque stuff for a Comics Code approved work.

Worth Consuming.

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars.

Marvel Comics Presents #161

Take a look at this image. The female on the cover is a superhero named Turbo. That has got to be the most ridiculous headgear I have seen this side of Hela. And what is up with the laser disc sized braclets? Seems quite unwieldy. 

Now the story in which Turbo stars is one that I am taking great delight in. I like the time travelling slant. I'm totally digging the inclusion of Slapstick. Plus I like the gender-bending twist with Turbo as a pair of college students trade off wearing the costume. One week it's Ms. Mickey Musashi. The next week, it's Mr. Michael Jefferies wearing the suit. As you can tell from the cover, it's Mickey's week to play superhero. 

The latest Vengeance story continues to creep me out. There's the demonic little girl who goes around asking for help finding her missing playmate. Adults take interest, thinking 'why is such a youngster walking around Manhattan all by her lonesome?' In the end, they find Playmate, which happens to be this gruesomely hungry green blob. Through osmosis or some other devilry, the little girl gets stronger and as a result, the Spirit of Vengeance gets more terrified of the evil that is growing. It's kinda like how the Hulk refused to Hulk out after being b-slapped by Thanos in Avengers: Infinity Wars.

The Hawkeye story comes to an end. Pretty lackluster if you ask me. The Mace story begins with a death and dips into a birth with the origin of the cloned ninja master revealed. It too was pretty lackluster as the origin story sounds like so many other 90s cloning tales.

Overall, this wasn't a bad read. Just after 2 very strong segments with the New Warriors/Slapstick and Vengeance, the Hawkeye and Mace chapters were rather cliched. 

Rating: 6 out of 10 stars.

Marvel Comics Presents #160

Where to start with this issue?

The cover feature is a cloned ninja assassin who goes by the moniker of Mace. He's the product of a secret society to be it's ultimate killing machine. With DNA from some of the Japanese based Sunrise Society, Mace is nearly unstoppable. But Dr. Ito, Mace's creator, has developed a fatherly bond with the assassin and hopes to help Mace escape the warrior sect he was designed to serve. 

This issue is technically Mace's first appearance. Maybe a week prior, the character debuted in a Symbiote heavy miniseries titled Venom: Mace. Though the 3-parter came out first, this story occurs chronologically first. The premise is interesting but with elements from TMNT, Species, Remo Williams, and countless other 90s action franchises, I feel that the originality factor is servely lacking.

Vengeance returns in another multi-parter that chills me to my core. The antagonist is a scary-ass witch-child called Diabolique. The little blonde haired demon has a special friend named Playmate. Playmate is a real killer. But it's Diabolique who gives not just me, but Michael Badilino nightmares. So much to the point, Vengeance is refusing to come forth to smite this duo of evil.

The Hawkeye segment opens in a way that reminds me of a scene from the first Lord of the Rings film. There's a scene where the dwarf Gimli is terrified of being in the forest realm of elves. At one point, an elf sneaks up on Gimli and tells him that he's so loud that the elf could've killed him in the dark. Well, that's basically how this segment starts when U.S. Agent thinks he's got the advantage on Hawkeye. But the archer is the one in the catbird seat. 

I still don't have a clue as to why Hawkeye is playing the fugitive here. But I love this cloak and dagger type story. It's clever and kinda mysterious.

Our last segment continues with the New Warriors and their very special guest star, Slapstick. The young heroes are visiting the American Museum of Natural History when a time-traveling villain named Dr. Yesterday runs amok. History is literally repeating itself as the exhibits come alive. But unlike A Night at the Museum, when these exhibits become animated, it's because Dr. Yesterday has figured out a way for the past to come alive; not because a wax dummy of Teddy Roosevelt came to life. It's a tool many a history teacher probably wishes they could utilize and with the inclusion of the Living Cartoon, Slapstick, this has been a fantastic story thus far.

Scary. Thrilling. Funny. And maybe a bit cliched. But this was another solid issue of MCP.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

Vinegar Teeth #3

Vinegar Teeth's origin is finally revealed! After having to kill one of the citizen's he has sworn to protect, Vinegar Teeth is greatly troubled and seeks out solace in the form of his old partner, Detective Buckle. And that is when things get weird...

Vinegar Teeth has been a fun slapstick buddy cop entry by Troy Nixey and Damon Gentry. I love Gentry's Paul Pope art-style. I'm almost sad to see this series go as this is the next to last issue. 

There's still plenty of mystery to be solved, such as why do we see Officer Buckle acting like a big gurgling blob in front of a court room at the beginning of each chapter. Issue #4 is going to be one not to miss!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

Slapstick #2

  At a college football game, a menacing warrior named Bro-Man arrives on earth from the same dimension that gave Slapstick his cartoon powers.     The foe demands to battle earth's champion. After disposing of several vivisected security guards and the home team's mascot, it looks like Slapstick is the only person capable of opposing this foe. But the newfangled mercenary doesn't do assignments like this for free. That is unless the agents of SHIELD's new inter-dimensional task force has anything to say about it.

    This web comic-cum-paper series just keeps getting funnier and funnier. It's also pretty dark and there's ample amounts of gore and insanity. I love this series. It's perfect for me! 

     I'm very impressed with this series. There literally are no rules here and it's not predictable in the least. For a newly rebooted Marvel Universe fraught with quite a few missteps, this is a underappreciated example of something the House of Ideas actually got right.

   Worth Consuming

   Rating: 10 out of 10 stars.
     
      

Slapstick #1

   Slapstick, the zany character from the 90s is back in his own series. The Marvel hero enjoyed a brief resurgence as a member of Deadpool's Mercs for Money in 2015. His small roles  in each issue were self-deprecating and very funny and that's about half of what this issue is. Plus, it's quite violent. Imagine Rodney Dangerfield as Daffy Duck teamed with Moe and Curly of the Three Stooges and you've got Marvel's Slapstick!

    Slapstick is a kind of tragic figure as he's a teenage boy trapped in the body of a living cartoon. Though he loves being a superhero, he's also quite depressed. He's unable to enjoy his basic carnal needs since cartoon characters are created without genitalia. Dinner is kinds of a moot point for him as real food doesn't process in a cartoon stomach very well. Plus, looking like a giant animated clown, nobody takes him very seriously. Did I mention that Slapstick is also mentally unstable. Very mentally unstable.

    In this issue, Slapstick is trying to do the mercenary gig on his own. Since Deadpool never paid him when in his employ, Slapstick stole the Merc With A Mouth's cell-phone and is encroaching on Deadpool's list of jobs. But, it's not quite working out for Slapstick as he gets quite kill-happy and ends up going too far with his beloved over-sized mallet.

     There's elements of Deadpool, the Punisher, and Harley Quinn here and I enjoy it immensely. But will the character of Slapstick be enough of a draw? The growing nostalgia for all things from the 90s will help somewhat. So will a great team-up with the Amazing Spider-Man (that guy seems to be popping up in a lot of reviews lately.) However, the cover of this issue mentions or features neither potential readership draws.

    I got this paper issue early December (it launched as a digital first comic in early October) and read it the same day I bought it. But things got in the way in my posting a review of this issue; work and stuff like that. (Plus, I forgot about...) Two further issues had been released since this one. But I'm not seeing a lot about this issue. What little I do see has been positive. But I think this book is just too under the radar. 

    As part of Marvel Infinite Comics digital imprint, that might help this series survive. But again, I seriously doubt it because the word of mouth has been minimum. Maybe my review will help. But I am afraid it might be too little too late. But if you love zany, madcap comics with a slant to the surreal and just the right amount of absurd, then Slapstick is the hero you have been waiting for to return from 1990s limbo.

 (Reader's Note: with some graphic violence, adult language, and some frank sexual conversations, Marvel slapped a Parental Advisory on this series and they mean it. Just because Slapstick looks like a refugee from the House of Mouse, he's not for kids!)

   Worth Consuming 

   Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.