Junior High Horrors Halloween Special #1 (Halloween ComicFest Edition)

Imagine if you will all of your favorite slasher movie characters going to the same Junior High together. We're talking costumed killers and final girls all navigating the perils of becoming a teenager together. This 2019 parody sees Jason and Michael Myers as friends Mickey and JV along with Laurie Strode and Nancy. You know Nancy; the girl who lives over there on Elm Street.? Yes, Freddy is here too. Only now he's a stuffed animal cat that Nancy imagines as a kinda sadistic version of Hobbes the tiger. 

With only a few days left until Halloween, the gang are going to go costume shopping. Everyone has an idea what they want to be for trick or treating, except for Mickey. His past couple of costumes haven't had that wow factor and he's sworn off dressing up for good. Hopefully a trip to the mall will inspire him to reconsider and go out in disguise with his pals.

I thought that this was a fun concept. What life was like for some of film's greatest psycho killers when they were teens. In reality, Michael Myers was in a sanitarium. Jason was 'dead'. Freddy was probably abusing and murdering children. But here in this far-fetched parody from Keenspot, the big three stars of 80s horror are innocent teens trying to find their way in the world. 

One thing that I was struck by in this book was how different it looks from most comic books. That's because the fonts are designed especially for readers with dyslexia. Even the scenes themselves are bigger to keep the words from getting lost on the page. While I do not have the word and letters version of dyslexia, I've been diagnosed with the numerical version of dyslexia. I think if I had had math books designed like this, I might have done better in those classes. 

I really like the cover with the characters stylized as the Peanuts gang. I will admit, I was a little disappointed to learn that the characters inside don't look like they came from the mind of a demented Charles Schulz. But the story inside and especially the closing gag were great fun. When you need the icons of horror to be a little more family friendly, this is a read I suggest you pick up. It's just wicked enough to be creepy without having to look over your shoulder while you give it a read.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

The Marked Halloween Special

Every once and a while, the guys at my favorite comic shop order things that they aren't sure whether I would like them or not. They try to get up with me on my special orders but with my work schedule, I'm not able to get there every week. The guys know not to order me anything overtly demonic and for the most part, their executive decisions have been pleasant surprises. I wish I could say the same for this book...

The Marked is a title from Image Comics. Debuting in 2019, It's about a group of women with these tattoos that are magically imbued. The world has been rendered safe from demons for the most part by the Marked. But every once in a while, something managed to sneak through to our dimension. 

In this Halloween special, the Marked are preparing for a challenge by one of their former brethren, a witch named Rogue who rebelled against Catholic church's role in the Spanish Inquisition. As a result of a curse, every 100 years, this excommunicated witch unleashes her own special demons on Earth. The Marked are given until midnight of that centennial contest to find the portal unleashing the fiends and close it, or the devils will reign for another century. 

This year, Rogue's demons have taken root in a small town in Texas on All Hallow's Eve. Only Halloween has been banned thanks to a fire and brimstone preacher and the extreme right wing Sheriff department that rules the burgh with an iron fist. Last century, Rogue almost won. With the Marked having to fight a town full of bigots and homophobes, along with Rogue's army of darkness, this Halloween could be the earth's last and longest Devil's Night for 100 years.

This special started out okay. It straddled this side of Mike Mignola's Hellboy which is about as extreme of a story involving the devil that I am comfortable with. In fact, I thought I was reading a sorceress version of the X-Men. With a villain known as Rogue, a coven made of a diverse international membership and a rough-around-the-edges warlock who befriends a wet-behind-the-ears young enchantress, it really is the X-Men for witches. In fact that warlock and the youngster actually make a joke about how characters named Rogue are supposed to be mutants. 

When the witches make it to Texas, they encounter children who are actually demons under enchantment. The spirits were scary looking but things were fairly balanced between good and evil. So, I read on. But when we get to the reason why Rogue chose this town for her judgment, we learn that- big surprise- the police force was behind a number of heinous sins. They're all dragged off to Hell. Then the fallen angels come for the pastor. He didn't kill anyone but his version of God's love is warped. Yet as the guy begs for his life, the Marked condemns the man to the lake of fire because in their minds, he's cancellable. It's here that I decided that I couldn't make this book a keeper.

The Sheriff and his deputies being villains wasn't so much of a controversial thing. There's countless works in which Southern lawmen are bad guys. But there's also quite a bunch in which they are knights in shining armor. But why is every pastor not of the Catholic church deemed a charlatan, a misogynist and further right-winged than Trump and DeSantis combined? 

I'm a Christian. I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. So do the pastors of the churches I have attended. Yes, some preachers are pure evil. Jim Jones and David Koresh are two prime examples. Instead of dooming the town's pastor, who clearly was not following Christ's example, why couldn't writer David Hine have allowed the guy to repent? Are readers supposed to believe witches and demons exist but redemption, that's a foreign concept? It was that stereotypical look at the church that put me off of this franchise and decided that this book will not be a permanent part of my Halloween collection.

And for any comic book writers who may ever read this review, I challenge you to craft a story in which Christian leaders are looked at as the flawed people that they are but seeking to do right and pursue righteous above their sinful ways. Hating the sin but not the sinner is possible. It's a concept that might seem like fiction, but it's really not. I just wish my beliefs were also represented in comics.

Not Worth Consuming!

Rating: 3 out of 10 stars.

Marvel Ghost Stories

A celebration of nearly 40 years of Marvel inspired ghostly tales. This slightly larger than digest sized trade paper back features stories with the Silver Surfer, the West Coast Avengers, Damon Hellstrom, and many more.

My favorite tale was taken from an issue of Marvel's 1970s combat series War is Hell. The series' first non-reprint tale was from issue #9. It introduces us to John Kowalski, a former Marine ex-pat forced to live in 1930s Poland after being dishonorably discharged. Cursed by a member of the Polish resistance for not warning the American government of the Nazi invasion of Poland, Kowlaski is forced to wander the world as a specter to save others from the spoils of war. His first mission is to wrestle the life of a young girl from the literal grasp of the grim reaper. 

Fans of Ghost Rider get to encounter another character from the ill-fated War is Hell. The ghost of the World War I ace, the Phantom Eagle seeks revenge on the German general who killed him in combat.

There's a Halloween set story with Captain America summoned to the estate of the Red Skull. Set during one of several time periods when the Skull is dead, Cap encounters a variety of ghosts, both bad and evil in a holiday tale that morphs into All Saint's Day when the clock strikes midnight. 

My least favorite stories were the most modern tales. Both stars Damon Hellstrom, the son of Satan, who is just too demonic for my comfort. The West Coast Avengers story wouldn't have been so bad except for the prominent use of a pentagram and the revelation that the character of Mockingbird was drugged and raped by one of the incarnations of the Old West superhero, the Phantom Rider. That's really strong stuff for 1990s era Marvel.

The final story, which was taken from Hellstrom's short-lived series from the early 90s, was a great Exorcist kinda tale, if you like that kind of thing. I personally do not. 

I found this book for sale at a local coffee shop. You might be wondering why after hating the Hellstrom stuff did I buy this book. I think I was more enticed by the $5 price tag that I avoided noticing the big evil image of Hellstrom in his devilish garb. I should have paid more attention and I really do regret being impulsive and allowing myself to be open to such creepy material. The Silver Surfer two-parter starring Mephisto was also a read I did not favor.

This isn't a book I will keep. Nor is it a book I can resell. That's because of the really poor adhesive Marvel used for the cover. My copy's soft cover is barely hanging on to a thin strip of glue. If you happen to be at the Hillsborough Walmart recycling center on Monday, check out the free book shelf. My copy might still be there waiting for you...

Lastly, I want to implore Marvel to seriously consider producing a collection of the John Kolwalski stories. I really enjoyed that story and I much would have rather owned a copy of that book that doesn't exist than this collection. As for the Captain America Halloween story, I'll place it on my holiday wish list since I am not holding on to this book.

Rating: 6 out of 10 stars.

Shelly Frankenstein!, Book One: Cowpiggy (Family Comic Friday)

Shelley Frankenstein wants to be a mad scientist just like her great-great grandfather, the infamous Dr. Victor Frankenstein! Along with her brother Iggy, Shelley conducts experiments on her stuffed animals in hopes of creating the most terrifying toy ever. Only each one of her creations is more adorable and cuter than the next. Finally, when Shelley crafts her latest, greatest creation, the Cowpiggy, the fanfare is just too much and the budding scientist takes her frustrations out on the little monster. 

Saddened and feeling rejected, Cowpiggy runs away. Luckily, Shelley realizes that she's been too harsh on her new creature and goes off looking for the toy. Only there's a massive blizzard on the horizon and neither Shelley Frankenstein nor Cowpiggy are properly equipped to survive the coming frigid conditions. 

This book was so charming. It's got so many tributes and nods to the Mary Shelley classic in which this graphic novel is not just based upon, but set firmly in the Frankenstein family universe. There's Frank and his bride. Even a wolfman! Even villagers. But they're all so gosh darn cute! 

I really felt like this book has the makings of a great new series for readers aged 8-12. While there isn't any indication in this graphic novel that Cowpiggy is the opening edition for a series, Amazon and other book sellers list this as Book One! That's just awesome as this was such a fun read. I'm just racking my brain to see where this book can go from here. Not only does this series have Mary Shelley's creation to draw inspiration from; perhaps the Universal Monsters could be involved somehow. We already have the wolfman. Maybe introducing the Invisible Man or Gill Man. Could we see the Mummy?

The artwork, along with the story itself has touches of Tim Burton in terms of the gothic theme. But the characters are just so cute. This was a fantastic work by children lit veteran Colleen Madden. There are monsters and creepy elements, but nothing scary... nothing evil. Parents and guardians will delight at this family friendly reading to kick off the Halloween reading season! Only beware! By the time the young reader in your life is finished with this book, they're going to want a Cowpiggy stuffed animal of their own! I know I want one!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 10 out of 10 stars.

Full Throttle: Stories by Joe Hill

I've been in the mood to read Joe Hill lately. 

This 2019 collection of Joe Hill stories is a baker's dozen of short stories that have seen print previously in anthologies or magazine form. The two stories that Hill co-wrote with his famous father, Stephen King were my least favorite as they lacked the voice of the younger author which I have become a fan of over the past decade. But overall, this was a great read filled with excitement and a whole lot of chills for someone who is interested in reading Halloween themed stuff but couldn't yet because it wasn't October yet. 

My favorite stories were the tragic 'By the Silver Water of Lake Champlain', which later became the focus of an episode of the Creepshow series on Shudder, 'Dark Carousel' with it's perfectly eerie ending set across the pond, and 'Mums' which may or may not be about a young boy who grows a menacing plant-like version of his late mother. My absolute favorite was 'Late Returns', which along with 'Mums', was published for the first time ever in this book. It's about a young man who takes a part-time job driving his hometown's bookmobile and discovers that he can recommend great final reads to dearly departed members of the local library. I so very much did not want this story to end and I would love for it to be a movie or even a mini-series.

Another story that I would like seen put on film is 'You Are Released'. It's about the early hours of a nuclear holocaust as experienced by the passengers on a jumbo jet. Although I really want this story to be longer as well, with everything that has been happening in Israel in the past week, I think I could wait for the movie as I get this eerie feeling that right now, life is imitating art. 

Don't skip out on Hill's foreword nor his afterword. Both are amazing non-fiction reads. The foreword talks about how having 2 famous writers for parents influenced him to become a writer. There's also a great story about Hill when he was a little fella starring in the framing sequences of the original Creepshow movie. Hill's afterword discusses where you might have come across many of the stories collected in this book, along with sources of inspiration for those tales. Hill claims he's not a story teller but I would love to read a collection of his thoughts. He's that good a writer!

I think I am done with Joe Hill novels for a little bit. Not because I'm tired of him. Nor is it because I'm scared crapless; though Joe Hill is the only author that can write about non-demonic things and scare me cleaner than Ex-lax. It's just that as we are now in October, I am burning through a bunch of those Halloween reads that I've been saving up to read. Thanksgiving and Christmas are up next and I really want to dip into those reads too. Maybe when it's time to spend the holidays in St. Louis this Christmas, I'll bring another Joe Hill work that I haven't read yet with me. Hopefully, the author will have something new on the horizon as I am running out of things of his that I haven't read yet.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 8 out of 10 stars.

DC Horror Presents: Sgt. Rock Vs. The Army of the Undead #6

After a series of missteps, Sgt. Rock Versus the Army of the Undead ends on such a high note. There's mention of a department that specializes in the military investigating paranormal and extraterrestrial activity. It's almost like SHIELD but with weird phenomenon. I'd order this series new and monthly if it ever came to pass. However, it's been over a year since issue #1 of this series debuted and I feel like if we've not heard about such a series coming forth by now, it's not going to happen.

The individual issues must not have sold as well as DC had hoped. No surprise there. DC has been tanking in sales for some time now. However, a hardcover collected edition is coming out sometime this month; just in time for All Hallow's Eve. Maybe if the hardcover sells very well, it might re-start the gears for that foretold future series. But if that happens, I expect the paranormal Sgt. Rock story to be repackaged as a graphic novel instead of floppies. 

This final issue was wild. If you are familiar with how Inglourious Basterds ended, then you'll probably love this finale. Add in the penultimate scene of the under-rated Tom Hanks vehicle, The 'Burbs and you'll almost forget some of the errors made in the storytelling in issues #2 and 5. 

The covers by Gary Frank have been awesome. I've also liked the interior art crafted by Eduardo Russo. Some might not like his minimalist technique. But I appreciated the use of shadows and dark voids to heighten the intensity of the drama. Russo's style reminded me a lot of Mike Mignola. So if you are a fan of Hellboy, you'll really dig the artwork of this book.

This was Bruce Campbell's first comic book. For a first effort, it was pretty darn good. I just felt that things kept going back to the starting line instead of going for the finish line. That might not even be the author's fault, but poor story advice from the editor. If not for that, this offbeat World War II horror-fantasy would have been perfect. Still, this was a good read to start off my October, 2023 reads.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 10 out of 10 stars.

DC Horror Presents: Sgt. Rock Vs. The Army of the Undead #5

When the last issue ended, Sgt. Rock was positioned outside the secret compound of Adolf Hitler. So you'd expect this issue to have Easy Co. arrive and under Rock's leadership, they'd all unleash Hell on the Fuhrer. Instead, the penultimate issue of Sgt. Rock Vs. The Army of the Undead starts back at HQ with the regiment aboard a transport vehicle about to parachute onto the compound. 

I had to double-check and make sure I hadn't missed something. Did I skip an issue? Why would Sgt. Rock go back to England and then get on a plane back to Nazi Germany? Let's be honest, if this was Nick Fury and his Howling Commandos, they would have stormed the compound immediately. There wouldn't have been any backtracking.\

I'm no four-star general but it seems to me that going back to home base increases the possibility of everyone getting wiped out and Hitler survives to live another day. Sure, if you are the writer, you'll do everything to keep the main character from dying. But if this was real life, it just seems an unnecessary risk to venture back through enemy territory just to regroup and pick up more fire power. I understand why you'd want reinforcements. It just seems too big of a risk. Plus, don't you run the risk of Hitler moving on to another secure location. Did Easy Co. leave a spotter???

As you can tell from the cover, the story is no longer historically accurate. Like having zombie storm troopers was historically accurate. But, with Hitler turning himself into a member of the walking dead, we're no longer trying to match the events of the last days of World War II. Actually, with this mission being Hitler's last hurrah, we're venturing into Inglourious Basterds territory as this European campaign is about to come to a close in 1944- almost a full year before things came to a close in real life! 

How we would have fought the war if Germany was defeated before the bomb was complete is an interesting prospect. I wonder if that concept has ever been explored. I'd definitely be interested in reading that alternate history. 

An action packed next-to-last issue. The logistics of things don't make a lot of sense to me and the complete 180-swing in the story was confusing to the point, I thought I had accidentally starred reading issue #4 or #6 out of order. But it's always nice to see Adolf Hitler getting his ass handed to him!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars.