Spider-Man: Christmas in Dallas

   I can think of a lot of places to spend Christmas. Dallas just doesn't come to mind when I do. This very rare Christmas comic was published in 1983 and was available only as a special insert in a Sunday edition of the Dallas Times Herald. In it, Peter Parker is assigned by the Daily Bugle to cover a celebrity fundraiser in the heart of the Lone Star State. This mission comes just in time for Parker to miss his Christmas vacation that he has planned with his Aunt May. But he won't have very much time to fret as the Kingpin has decided to invade the charity event dressed as Santa. Only this fat man wants the presents for himself, in the form of cold hard cash posted as ransom for each guest.

    This issue has been on my radar for some time. Due to its rarity, it's not very affordable or easy to find. I got lucky on a low-grade copy over the summer and I must say it's been worth the wait. The comic does a good job advertising the Dallas newspaper without being too overt about it. Plus, it recounts the origin of Spidey without taking up very valuable 'all-new story' space. There was at least one thing I think the writers got wrong about this book as it has Peter falling in love with a stewardess and then getting the hots for another girl at the charity event. I may be wrong, but during this time, wasn't Peter Parker engaged to Mary Jane Parker?

   I finished this last night and I've been racking my brain on a different issue about this comic. Is it fair to base it on the quality of the advertisements? I usually don't but I feel like I must make an exception here. See, as I mentioned earlier, this issue came free with a copy of the Dallas Herald Newspaper. Instead of ads for video games, movies, or the ubiquitous X-Ray glasses for only $2.95 (They really work, kids!), this comic has ads for Dallas area businesses such as Boot World and swinging atrium doors. There's even one for a pawn and appliance shop. Oh, and don't forget that you could get the chance to meet Santa at Chi-Chis, Chuck E. Cheese, and the Lone Star Steak House (on route 59 in Bixby) no less.

   It just makes for some very interesting but strange reading. I felt like I was in Bizarro World when it came to the ads in this issue. Amazingly enough the price for a full or queen size bed hasn't really changed in 31-years. If anything, solid oak panelled desk chairs has fallen in price since the days of being in kindergarten and Return of the Jedi.

   I'll overlook the weird trip through Texas commercialism this time. But I must critique this book for its filler. See, this book used local Texas advertising only, so there was a bigger chance that the entire book wouldn't have enough to make for a full-sized comic. So, Marvel added some filler. For instance, there's a Spidey word search. Only, the instructions forget to tell you that when looking for Marla Madison's name in the puzzle, the two parts of it aren't necessarily together.

   Then there's the 'Spider-man's Favorite Villains' page. I highly doubt Green Goblin and Doctor Octopus are the wall-crawler's favorite anything. Towards the end of this book, things turn strange as we've got the most bizarre Bullpen Bulletin newsletter from Jim Shooter in which he claimed to have turn into a penguin. Lastly, there's this gem that you must see for yourself:

Santa Hulk Hate Good Grammar!

Overall, this comic was worth the extra money and the extra wait. It had a very good plot with an interesting time capsule of life in Dallas, 1983. The issue also gave me some laughs which were clearly unintentional. However, I deem the book Worth Consuming if not for the fact that I learned that there are 3 more books in this "series" and I want them. That's the greatest testament to any comic book series. It's a success if it leaves you wanting more.

 Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.