Marvel: Black, White & Blood AND Guts #1

Marvel has been offering several 'Black, White, Blood and Guts ' one-shots this autumn season. But this is the only one that I have seen that was advertised as the company's annual Halloween release. I guess the Crypt of Shadows was being renovated this year.

I read this a couple weeks ago actually. But I forgot to review it. Well, I forgot to write it down. I'm realizing that I have developed this habit of writing up really good reviews in my dreams and then going about my business thinking that I already given my opinion on the works in person.

There are 3 stories. The first two, star the vampire hunter, Blade. 

The opener is a bloodbath on par with the opening scene of the original Blade movie starring Wesley Snipes. It imagines if Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg were vampires who use a medical social media app of their design to recruit the healthiest of the healthiest users for their own personal smorgasbord. True, the names have been changed to protect the innocent; but deep down you know that writer Al Ewing was referring to Musk and Zuckerberg as the bloodsuckers in that fright fest. 

In story #2, Blade's hired to protect a member of a dying family of hellhoundss. Instead of killing the seemingly little girl, Blade reluctantly takes the job, fighting off a horde of the undead who wants the ageless child for her imbued blood. It was a thrill a minute read that left me confused. I thought Blade was committed to destroying all vampires. And yet, he's a group of day sleepers that not only does Blade respect, but feels their survival is vital to, um well... I'm not sure. But Blade feels some sort of loyalty to them. I may have to do a wiki-search for more information.

The final story takes place in the not too distant future. It might also take place on another Earth; but the reader is given the option by the narrator to decide that. The possible grandchild of Pepper Potts brings a friend over to her house in search of the late Tony Stark's Iron Man armor. The Avenger was killed by a curse from a demi god and unbeknownst to the lad, he's about to fall under its voodoo when he tries on the helmet.

Of the 3 stories, this was the best one. It has that classic horror twist ending with a gruesome final panel that leaves everything to the reader's imagination. The middle story was great but a bit too confusing for me. For someone who likes symmetry and for themed books to follow a shared concept, not having Blade in the final story makes my brain itch. 

Another element of this book that makes my brain itch is the cover. It's an amazing cover by E.M. Gist. It has an Alex Ross quality to it ,which means I love it. While it has Blade in the background as well as Iron Man, it also has the Hulk and the Silver Surfer on the cover. Where the heck are they in this one-shot? What's that? This isn't the 2025 Marvel Halloween special?!

Even though the Previews description for this issue ties in the October release date, this isn't a one-shot; nor is it meant for Halloween. Adding to my misunderstanding, one of the variant covers has Cyclops and Jean Grey in costume at a Halloween party. Now I understand why the owner of my local comic shop asked me if I wanted the rest of the books. I thought they were asking if I wanted the special covers. I have requested some of them previously before. But what he was asking me was whether or not I wanted the other 3 issues of this horror anthology miniseries with a gory slant to it. In other words: Marvel isn't releasing a series of 'Black, White, Blood & Guts' specials. They're all part of a miniseries!

Okay, so I can forgive Marvel and E.M. Gist for putting Hulk, Surfer and parts of the Punisher and Thor on the main cover without them being in this book. Upon researching the other 3 issues, they all appear to be on tap for future starring roles in a forthcoming issue. Gist just seems to be giving readers a preview of what's in store and I can appreciate that. What I cannot overlook is having Blade in 2 of the 3 tales. Why couldn't he either have been in all 3 or that he could have been removed from one of the stories he started in. I don't mind either way- though I think an all-Blade issue would have been sweet! (Maybe next Halloween?) But this uneven presentation just irks me and I must take away 1 star from my rating.

Will I get the other 3 issues? I do love horror and these were a trio of pretty good tales. But I probably will wait to find them in a bargain box instead of shelling out the full cover price of $5.99, which is in my opinion, just a bit too high for my preference.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Raptors (Santa Saves Christmas, Book II) by Ben Wolf

Book 2 of Ben Wolf's 'Santa Saves Christmas' trilogy starts off almost immediately after the events What The Frost? It's Christmas Day. Dinosaurs are running amok in Moscow and Santa Claus might have something to do with that. As he arrives in Russia with his trusty triple barreled shotgun, a whip made of a strand of holiday lights and his genius tech-savvy elf Snoot, Santa comes face-to-face with a new terror: a talking Utahraptor with the ability to bend time called the Time Raptor. 

Feeling strongly that dinosaurs deserve another chance as the dominant species on Earth, the Time Raptor has opened a series of quantum portals back to prehistoric times, herding dinosaurs of all shapes, sizes and levels of death and destruction to make sure that this is mankind's last Christmas ever!

All of the main characters from the last book are back. Mrs. Claus and several of the elves have bigger roles this time around. And it doesn't read like book 2 is a rehash of the first volume. But it sure started that way. 

While dinosaurs are not the main antagonists of the first book, they do play a big roll in the third act. Having Santa Claus and his allies battle the thunder lizards again felt stale. I would have liked the opening 30-40 pages of this book a whole lot better if we hadn't already had dinosaurs already. The Time Raptor was an interesting twist. However, there's a scene where the new villain goes to Jamaica in order to feed and what the Time Raptor does or more specifically doesn't do, pretty much told how the book was going to end.

What really saves this book is the banter. Snoot is hilarious. Santa's unlikely ally in the battle against the dinosaurs is a great character as well. But I don't want to spoil who that character is. New developments in Santa's time piece which allows him to slow down time in order to make all his deliveries in a single night where pretty cool and we've yet to see everything that specialized stopwatch can do.

I liked what I read enough, despite the slight repetitive nature of the presence of ancient reptiles (or birds, depending your school of thought), to order the third and final book before I finished this one. I had about 120 pages to go and I didn't want to waste a day or two waiting to know what happens next. Though at the time of this review, I've not read as much of that last book as I'd like as holiday happenings and a couple of unexpected events have eaten into my reading time the past couple of days. But at least I've not been left in the cold unable to see what comes afterwards. I'm just going at a much slower pace than I want right now.

Another fun book filled with holiday laughs and Jurassic Park level gore.

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 7 out of 10 stars.

I Luv Halloween, Vol 1

A Halloween themed manga written by Keith Giffen. I couldn't pass it up. And yet like a driver who picks up the hitchhiker from Hell, I kinda wish that I had kept on driving. 

I Luv Halloween has got to be the must inappropriate, goriest romp starring kids that I have ever read. Imagine the movie Gummo, if it was set during Halloween. (I really want to compare this with the film Kids. However, there's nowhere as much animal murder and cruelty in that controversial film compared to Gummo.)

The book is about a group of 4 boys as they go trick-or-treating. After getting apples at their first couple of houses, the boys decide to break the curse by putting razor blades in one of the fruits and unleash the unmitigated fury of the law on one of their stingy neighbors. Meanwhile, one of the boy's sisters has broken free from the group and has begun a reign of unintentional terror, killing the neighborhood bully, bludgeoning a cheerleader and her boyfriend and much, much more unspeakable acts. 

If I thought Giffen was trying to do a straight out horror story on par with Children of the Corn, I'd probably not feel like I need to take a shower just for writing this review. But the kids in the book do most of their gruesome acts with a sense of innocence. It's almost like the worst Murphy's law bad luck of all time following these kids and they just go through life not understanding just how destructive they are. Remember how Steve Urkel would ask 'did I do that?', whenever something went wrong? Well, these kids, for the most part, don't even know that they are doing terrible things. Well, the sister might. There's definitely something not quite right about her...

The artwork is by Benjamin Roman. At the time this book was published, in 2005, he was a relative newcomer with this being his very first professionally published work. His art style is extremely exaggerated. Roman would fit in quite well at MAD Magazine. I wonder what became of him...

This one isn't a keeper for me. I wasn't a huge fan of it. There's a lot going on that I'm not even sure happened or not as several of kids are not very reliable narrators. And yet, there's 2 more volumes and I just need to find out what is true and what is the fever dreams of a group of horny preteens. Plus I just need to know what is wrong with the sister. She just not quite right in the head.

Not the coming of age tale you'd feel comfortable sharing with your kids or grand kids. I fact, if you didn't feel uncomfortable after reading this book I'd think something might be wrong with you...

Rating: 4 out of 10 stars.

Turkey Day One-Shot

I closed my 2022 Thanksgiving comic book readings with this 2021 horror one-shot from Source Point Press.

A small town in Illinois is about to host its annual community theater Thanksgiving pageant. This year's organizer promises a huge surprise is in the works. Meanwhile, an alien invasion force has landed in a nearby field chock full of turkeys. Taking over the brains of the delicious fowl, the alien army waddles over to the theater house in order to make their first kill, though the theater goers think this is all staged as part of the big surprise. Truly, this will be a Thanksgiving Day to remember when everyone realizes that these guys aren't here to just 'talk turkey'.

I bought this book right after Thanksgiving last year. So I've been waiting just about a full year to enjoy this sci-fi black comedy. This book was grim, gory, irreverent, and fun as hell! I loved just about every moment of it; though the story did take a turn I wasn't expecting at all. And I thought that homage final page, which was just darn near perfect. 

I did briefly think that this book made a slightly wrong turn adding in a certain former POTUS in a cameo towards the end. Just seeing his face made me feel for a brief moment of 'here we go again' with some sort of political statement. But the use of this character for 1 panel was actually pretty funny and it added to the dark humor tone of the story. 

I'm going to let you dear readers in on a little secret: I am terrified of turkeys. They're mean. They're evil. They'd kill you if they had the chance. But over the past year, I've made friends with a turkey at a local farm. Though she has a different name, I've started to call this bird 'Swanson' after the turkey TV dinner. Over this time, I've come to realize, 'Swanson' is a salt & pepper hued turkey. All the turkeys in this comic and countless viewed videos of poultry on human violence have been perpetrated by brown feathered turkeys. Thus, I change my stance that only those brown feathered foul are direct ancestors of velociraptors! 

Being a comedy, did this book do anything to make me less afraid of turkeys? No, not really. In fact, when the alien leader plucks out a turkey's eye in order to take over its brain, I wasn't mortified like in previous books where other adorable animals are hurt or killed. If anything, I think the use of turkeys are things of holiday horror are a thing of brilliance and I would strongly recommend to SyFy channel getting the rights to this comic and turning it into next year's Thanksgiving movie ASAP! It's campy like Sharknado and bloody like The Evil Dead. I'm sure doing so would make this the next Turkey Day classic for generations of families to come!

Worth Consuming!

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

Victor Crowley's Hatchet Halloween Tales III #1

Sure. It's November 1st and I'm reviewing yet another Halloween comic book. In Mexico, today and tomorrow is Dia de los Muertos and today in Europe, it's All Saints Day. Both holidays are what All Hallow's Eve or Halloween lead up to. Thus, expect 2 more Halloween comics for review!

One of those two books up for review is this one: Victor Crowley's Hatchet Tales III is based on the main character from the Adam Green horror franchise Hatchet. I was really looking forward to this book after I had read a small preview of another Hatchet one-shot in the pages of American Mythology Monsters II #1 earlier this year. That preview had deranged ax murderer Victor Crowley taking on a Sasquatch in the Louisiana Bayou. I was hooked. I was also thrilled as I realized that I had another comic starring Crowley and was pumped into thinking it was going to be as good as that preview. 

Boy was I wrong...

First of all, Victor Crowley doesn't host any of these stories. In fact, I don't think the character has the ability to really speak in the first place. Instead, this trio of terror all takes place during several very deadly Halloweens on or very near Victor's home base of Honey Island, La.

In one story, a group of corrupt cops lure an honest cop to his demise only to meet ghastly fates at the hands of Victor. In another, a young man seeking revenge against Victor for the death of his father, unleashes a demon. Soon, Victor appears and everything goes to hell. Lastly, in the somewhat near future, a group of teens uncover the legend of Victor Crowley and head out to Honey Island to find out the truth behind the mythos.

The story with the corrupt cops was perhaps the best of the 3 stories. I just wish that there was more backstory between the bad cops and the one good policeman. 

The story that occurs in the future was rather interesting because one of the characters in the story was a real person. The year prior, a young man won a silent action benefiting yorkie terriers. The fundraiser was hosted by Hatchet creator Adam Green and the prize was the chance to be killed by Victor in one of the stories of this book. I had learned that there was another auction going to be held for someone to win the chance to be in the 2022 special. But I missed my chance of a lifetime as that auction had occurred earlier in the year. Maybe there's a chance for 2023!

The one problem I had with all these stories was that they were just too freakin' gory. I think the encapsulating stories were good. It's just that the way Victor kills indiscriminately. It actually was making me a tiny bit nauseous. 

I also wasn't a fan of the story involving that demon. That kind of horror really isn't my thing. But I will admit that the opening narration about how the boundaries between good and evil are razor thin on Halloween night, was one of the best openings in a horror comic that I have come across in a very long time. 

For the most part, Victor Crowley's Hatchet Halloween Tales weren't scary. But they were sick and bloody. If you were one who went to see Terrifier 2 and it didn't make you vomit nor faint, then this might be the sort of comic book for you. In reverse, the way I felt reading this comic is proof I should never see Terrifier 2. EVER!

Rating: 4 out of 10 stars.

Kid Death & Fluffy Halloween Special #1

I am in no way familiar with the main character of Kid Death. He's a boy of 12 or so. He looks a lot like Sylvester P. Smythe, the janitor mascot of the long defunct Cracked Magazine. And he likes to kill and maim! Kid Death also has a pet dog named Fluffy. The dog is also quite ripe; having been dead for some time. And he's got a very dumb and very busty sister named Bubbles.

Everything I just described was what I gleamed from reading this Halloween special. My God, what have I read???

The story of this issue is as follows... Kid Death has to go to a Halloween party with his sister. It's being held the funeral home that a friend of Kid Death's sister's family owns. At the local funeral home, business is booming. That's because the owners are killing townsfolk and then charging a literal arm and leg for burial expenses. Will Kid Death, his dead dog and brain-dead sister make it out alive? Our serial killing gravediggers have no idea just who they've let in their doors.

I found this book over the summer in a bargain bin. I thought the (variant) cover by Jimmy Palmiotti (Harley Quinn) and John Cebollero was kinda cool. Kid Death is giving some classic horror monsters the biz. But this is one of those times where you never should judge a book by it's cover. 

This special from the Event Comics was as they used to say in 1990s Southern Baptist churches: it's was rude, crude, and social unexceptionable. Some Halloween special can be enjoyed by a wide array of age grows. That's true even if the book isn't rated All Ages. But that is not the case here. This Halloween comic is very gory. It's quite gross. And it's filled with some right-wing, anti-Semitic, anti-Catholic, and pro-pedophilic imagery. 

I'm sure that the creators behind this book from 1997 aren't really deep down racists. No- I haven't unraveled a Comicsgate conspiracy. This book was created over 20 years ago, during the height of Palmiotti and best bud (and regular cover artist) Joe Quesada's immature period. People change over time. Heck, I've actually started liking Joe Q after years of bashing the guy when he was in charge of Marvel. 

Speaking of change, 20 years ago, I might have been fawning all over this special. But I've mature a tiny bit and this book was just ick... So disappointed in this. After reading, I feel like I need to take a shower. 

Not Worth Consuming and no longer a part of my collection.

Rating: 2 out of 10 stars.