GI Joe #35

The Dreadnoks, a villainous group of biker mercenaries under the employ of Cobra decide to take their master Zartan’s chopper out for a joy ride. Only, this bike has been suited with a top of the line holographic computer that can change the bike’s appearance into literal “hell on wheels.” When Zartan finds out about the little field trip, he decides to take matters into his own hands. But before the master of disguise can reap some serious revenge, a trio of Joes on leave tangle with the Dreadnoks.

This issue reminded me a little of that classic Stephen Spielberg film, Duel. The Dreadnoks use their holographic device to create masterpieces of terror with the sheer purpose of running folks on the roads in horror and causing lots of collateral damage. Oddly, it’s not the creations of the Dreadnoks and their hologram device that are out of this world, but a simple looking ambulance that is really hard to believe. I’ve never seen or heard of an ambulance that can house 3 gurneys at a time! Yet all three Joes end up in one!

I understand the need to have such a tricked out meat wagon. Without its vast area, the Joes could never get the chance to talk together and piece together who was truly behind their recent car ‘troubles.’ The story was face paced, fun, and one hell of a ride. Featuring not only a stunning cover of the Dreadnoks by guest artist, John Byrne, this issue also features one of the strangest cameos of all time.

A  very good read, worth consuming.

Rating: 9 out of 10 stars.

(Spoiler P.S.

If you do not want to learn of the identity of the strangest cameo of all time, do not read further!

Now that you’ve been warned, when Zartan decides to reel in this disobedient boys, he uses another tricked out vehicle with holographic technology. His method of transportation looks like a common passenger bus. For some unknown reason, Zartan decides to let on a little old lady to accompany him in his cross country adventure. During the ride, the octogenarian constantly berates Zartan for his poor driving skills and lack of professionalism.

Later, after Zartan has recaptured his Dreadnoks, he assigns one of them to eliminate the granny. Only now there’s no old lady in her seat, just clothes. It’s revealed that Snake Eyes was in the bus and the zany get-up was a ruse to learn of the secret location of  the Cobra home base of ‘Springfield.’

Okay, I can buy the idea behind the mission. But there’s one serious flaw in the execution. Snake Eyes cannot talk. It’s been revealed in his origin story that his vocal cords were destroyed in a helicopter crash. Several Joes mention this fact to the rate of about once per issue. So, how this this old lady talk? It’s not mentioned and to me, this seems like a serious nit that just throws continuity out the window. Maybe this will be addressed in a future issue, thus the reason why I listed this complaint in a post script and did not factor it in to my overall rating of this book.)